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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that government grants should be offered to people to encourage them to buy electric vehicles.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
government
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grants
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 should be offered to
people
Use synonyms
 to encourage them to buy electric
vehicles
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. To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is often argued that the
government
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 scheme should be offered to individuals to influence them to
purchase
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 electric
vehicles
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. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it will save
people
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's money and it will be significantly better for the
environment
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. First and foremost, the primary reason why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 support
this
Linking Words
 view is that financial
grants
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 are a significant benefit for
people
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. When the
government
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 offers
grants
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 to
people
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 to influence them to buy electric
vehicles
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, a significant proportion of
people
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 will grab
this
Linking Words
 opportunity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will encourage other
people
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 to follow the
government
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 initiatives.
As a result
Linking Words
, EV businesses will grow and support the country's economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, the USA
government
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 recently introduce Electric
vehicles
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 scheme for buyers, including 3 years free service.
This
Linking Words
 initiative encourages a vast majority of
people
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 to
purchase
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 EVs.
In addition
Linking Words
, electric
vehicles
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 do not require any petrol or octane.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
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 can not only save their money, but
also
Linking Words
 they can ensure that the
environment
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 is pure and safer from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon
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emissions
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, authorities should encourage
people
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 to
purchase
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 electric
vehicles
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 and offer
grants
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 to them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another reason to support
this
Linking Words
 idea is that electric
vehicles
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 run on a battery and
it does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not require any Patrol and Octane, which will save our
environment
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 from
carbon
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emissions
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. It is safer for our new generation to have EVs
instead
Linking Words
 of using
vehicles
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 which run on fuel.
For example
Linking Words
, the Chinese new generation is purchasing electric
vehicles
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 as much as they can. They discovered that it would reduce the
carbon
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emissions
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 in the
environment
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
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 will not be required to pay a subsidy for the fuel.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can use
this
Linking Words
 subsidy in other sectors, which will reduce their country's operational cost because fuel subsidies cost more than EV
grants
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should offer
grants
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 as much as they can and encourage individuals to
purchase
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 battery-powered
vehicles
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. In conclusion, I strongly reiterate my agreement with the idea that
government
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grants
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 should be offered to
people
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 to influence them to
purchase
Use synonyms
 EVs, as it will save the
government
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 subsidy, and
substantially it will
Correct word order
it will substantially
show examples
 reduce
carbon
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emissions
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. It will
also
Linking Words
 save money for the individuals, which will ensure their financial stability.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Put one main point, then explain it, then give one example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some are good, but some lines are too long and repeat the same idea.
task achievement
Your answer is on topic and you give a clear opinion. To get a higher score, explain both money and environment points in more depth.
task achievement
Some examples are not fully clear or exact. Try to give simple and direct examples that clearly support your point.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You answer the question directly and your opinion is clear from the start.
task achievement
Your main ideas are relevant to the topic, especially cost and the environment.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government grants
  • electric vehicles (EVs)
  • financial burden
  • accessibility
  • lower and middle-class families
  • carbon emissions
  • air pollution
  • environmental sustainability
  • job creation
  • charging infrastructure
  • economic stimulation
  • public transportation
  • taxpayer money
  • research and development
  • battery technology
  • renewable energy sources
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