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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity produced by fuel source in Denmark and Germany in 1978 and 1998.

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The pie compare the amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
illustrated
Verb problem
generated
show examples
 by fuel
source
Check wording
sources
show examples
 in two european nation, which was
Denmark
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 and
Germany
Use synonyms
over
Punctuation problem
, over
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 the
20
Correct word choice
past 20
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 years. between 1978 and 1998. both nation genarate five
catagory fule
Correct your spelling
category fuel
 sources.
witch
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which
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 was coal,
oil
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, natural
gas
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,
hydro
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power
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 and nuclear
power
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
genarated
Correct your spelling
generated
 on coal in
Denmark
Use synonyms
in
Verb problem
was in
show examples
 1998.
While
Linking Words
 the amount of
electricity
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 produced
on
Change preposition
by
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hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
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 in the year 1998. In terms of
genarate
Correct your spelling
generation
, in
Denmark
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,
electricity
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 builed 53
units
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 on coal. Figure for
oil
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,
crated
Correct your spelling
created
 by 7units and 15units
electricity
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 genarated on natural
gas
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. and 15units
electricity
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 produced
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
 in 1978.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 1998,
Denmark
Use synonyms
reprecent
Correct your spelling
represented
 the new
electricity
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.
looking
Capitalize the word
Looking
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 for fuel
catagorys
Correct your spelling
categories
, coal
genarated
Correct your spelling
generated
 122
units
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fuel
Change preposition
of fuel
show examples
, more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 1978.
but
Capitalize the word
But
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 the (
oil
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, natural
gas
Use synonyms
) two
units
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was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined in 1998,
it was
Correct word choice
as
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 both generated 2
units
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.
lastly
Linking Words
hydro
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power
Use synonyms
 respectively increased in 1998, it was 34
units
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
gas
Punctuation problem
, gas
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impove
Correct your spelling
improved
 more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 15
units
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.
Regrading
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Regarding
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 the
remainig
Correct your spelling
remaining
,
Germany
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was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
generated 22
units
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on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 coal in 1998.
it was
Verb problem
It
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 declined
2
Change preposition
by 2
show examples
units
Use synonyms
 in 1998.
Figure
Correct article usage
The figure
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 for
oil
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, it was stable
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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.
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
 1978,
Use synonyms
germany
Capitalize the proper name
Germany
show examples
 generated 22
units
Use synonyms
elictricity
Correct your spelling
of electricity
, but it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined to 3
units
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.
Linking Words
also
Capitalize the word
Also
show examples
 looking for
hydro
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power
Use synonyms
 generated 5
units
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 in 1978, it was decreaed for 3
units
Use synonyms
.
but
Capitalize the word
But
show examples
, in
Use synonyms
germany
Capitalize the proper name
Germany
show examples
, it
was rised
Wrong verb form
rose
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 to big produced on newclear
power
Use synonyms
11
Punctuation problem
, 11
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units
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, to
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to generated
Wrong verb form
generating
show examples
 111
units
Use synonyms
 between 1978 and 1998.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, denmark, germany, oil, gas, hydro, power, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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