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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about current events. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some
people
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 believe that newspapers are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reliable
source
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 of
information
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 about different events.
However
Linking Words
, others think that social
media
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 is another platform for staying informed. In my opinion, I believe that reading different articles is the best method for
the
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apply
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understanding
of
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apply
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issues. On one side of the argument, social
media
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 is becoming popular among
audience
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the audience
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 because it
deliever
Replace the word
delivers
information
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 instantly.
People
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receieve
Correct your spelling
receive
information
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of
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about
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 breaking events within
mintues
Correct your spelling
minutes
 with the help of other
platform
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platforms
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such
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 as Facebook, Twitter
and
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,
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 etc.
However
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,
people
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 can see
viewpoints
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the viewpoints
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 of experts and share
information
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 with others easily.
In addition
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,
information
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 on social
media
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 does
provides
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provide
show examples
 a clear picture of incidents accurately.
As a result
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,
people
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 can become victims of uncertainty. Despite the above side of the arguments, I believe that
newspapes
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reliable and trustworthy
source
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 of
information
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.
This
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 is because journalists check the
source
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 of
information
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 before publishing it. Reading
newspaper
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the newspaper
show examples
 provides you
the
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with a
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 thorough understanding of complex issues.
Furthermore
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, articles
of
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by
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 different journalists
helps
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help
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 you to understand
background
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the background
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 of things.
For example
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,
colums
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columns
 written by critics increase your thought of getting things quickly.
To sum up
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, some
people
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 view that newspapers are the best method to know about recent
event
Check wording
events
show examples
while
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 others think that social
media
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 is another
source
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 of
information
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. I believe that reading
newspaper
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the newspaper
show examples
 gives you
wide
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a wide
show examples
 perspective of knowledge.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. You wrote about social media and newspapers, but your ideas need a little more depth.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from start to end. Your view is there, but some lines are not fully clear.
task response
Use one or two more clear examples to support your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a smoother order. Some sentences do not connect well with the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'as a result' should match the meaning exactly.
coherence and cohesion
Build each body paragraph around one clear main idea, then explain it step by step.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words to move from one idea to the next.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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