In some countires, many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting universitiy studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

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It is really frequent in some parts of the world to postpone the university course for one
year
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,
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apply
show examples
after graduation from high school. Usually, youngsters spend
this
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gap
year
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in
Change preposition
apply
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travelling or working.
This
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trend may have some
benifits
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benefits
and drawbacks, which will be
disscused
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discussed
in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with
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with,
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the advantages of
this
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phenomen
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phenomenon
, travelling can be invested in learning a new
foriegn
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foreign
language. Various students in the Middle East join English schools in the United Kingdom after their high school studies.
This
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step
,
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apply
show examples
provided them with a great opportunity to learn a new language from a native speaker.
Therefore
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, they managed to obtain excellent results
at
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in
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their
acxademic coure
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academic course
later. They have managed to understand international articles
an
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and
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research papers in English with no issues.
Also
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, they have become more
open minded
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open-minded
since they have mixed with a relatively new culture.
However
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,
this
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gap
year
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can have some disadvantages which negatively
effecting
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affect
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their future. Many of them become less motivated to join the
universtiy
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university
. They can find diffucult to step out
from
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of
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their comfort zone. Because of the fact
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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that they have to
transffer
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transfer
to a more serious lifestyle at
they
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their
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university.
Also
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, some of them tend to forget the basic science knowledge after one
year
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pause.
As a result
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, they were struggling
at
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in
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their
accademic
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academic
course. In conclusion, a gap
year
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can be
beificial
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beneficial
for many students, if invested
propably
Correct your spelling
properly
in gaining skills and languages. But its unwanted drawbacks should be considered.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Write one clear plus and one clear minus with a little more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like First, Also, However, As a result.
task response
Add one more clear example for the bad side, not only the good side.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in one sentence when possible. Some sentences are too long and hard to follow.
task response
You answered the question and talked about both good and bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used a real example about students going to the UK to learn English.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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