All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

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On
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All over
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the
whole
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apply
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world, societies are worried about a growing problem with
obesity
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.
Adults
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and
children
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suffer from it.
This
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essay will discuss why
children
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and
adults
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eat
most
Correct determiner usage
more
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fast
food
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than healthy
food
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and why
adults
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and
children
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should start to
do exercises
Check wording
exercise
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. The main reason is that
adults
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always do not
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do not always
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have time to cook
a
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apply
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healthy
food
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and
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, and
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parents
od
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apply
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children
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hardly ever see what their
children
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eat, because parents work a lot. Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
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is more popular than healthy
food
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, because
people
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can just order the
food
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and do not waste time
for
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apply
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cooking.
Consequently
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, their
children
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eat the same as their parents.
In addition
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, it is
a
Correct article usage
the
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price of fast
food
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. The fast
food
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is
more
Rephrase
apply
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cheaper than healthy
food
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. For these reasons,
obesity
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is so popular now among
children
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and
adults
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. But
,
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apply
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among young
people
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who are 18-25,
obesity
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is not popular.
This
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because
Verb problem
is because
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,
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apply
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nowadays sport and
healthy
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a healthy
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life style is attractive among young
people
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and
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, and
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more it is
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it is more
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respectful for
opportunity sex
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sexual opportunities
.
People
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should do simple exercises or cycling as in past .
For instance
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,
Netherlands
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the Netherlands
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where
Correct pronoun usage
, which
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is the most happiniest
people
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in the world.
This
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because
Verb problem
is because
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,
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apply
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most of them are cycling and eat handmade
food
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. In conclusion, societies are facing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a growing problem with
obesity
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.
This
Linking Words
problem affects both
children
Use synonyms
and
adults
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.
This
Linking Words
essay has discussed the reasons
how
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for the
show examples
fast
food
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and
lazy
Correct article usage
a lazy
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
, and the solutions like cycling and easy exercises.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more about why people get fat and give more ways to fix it.
coherence and cohesion
Keep your main idea clear in each part. Some ideas are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, like 'first', 'also', 'because', and 'as a result'.
task response
Give examples that are clear and fit your point well.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each body part has one main point and then explain it.
task response
You answered both the reasons and the solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used one real country example to support your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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