IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

ll natural resources are limited. It is therefore important that all companies make products that can be used for many years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Nowadays, the entire world
faced
Wrong verb form
faces
show examples
 numerous
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
,
such
Linking Words
 as reducing the amount of vital natural
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
.
Consequntly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, there is
view
Correct article usage
a view
show examples
 that making
products
Use synonyms
 that can be used
following
Change preposition
for many
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 by all companies is essential. From my point of view, it is
hugely
Correct article usage
a hugely
show examples
nonbeneficial
Correct your spelling
non-beneficial
 and
unneccessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 approach. People who think making
products
Use synonyms
 that can be used for many
years
Use synonyms
 is important, because they are aware of some repercussions behind it. If natural resources are
finishied
Correct your spelling
finished
 or depleted, people can suffer from some pressing problems, including
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 lack of
electrity
Correct your spelling
electricity
, heating
system
Check wording
systems
show examples
, and power. In
this
Linking Words
 developed and
cutting edge
Correct your spelling
cutting-edge
 era, living without them is difficult and almost impossible. Many
products
Use synonyms
 which people
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 in their
dailiy
Correct your spelling
daily
 lives
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 made from natural resources.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are indispensible part of our lives. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 preparing items for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
. The
quality
Use synonyms
 of the
products
Use synonyms
 is reducing. Namely, after preparing and completing
to make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
products
Use synonyms
, they should
left
Verb problem
be left
show examples
 for many
years
Use synonyms
 to use.
However
Linking Words
, its
'
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
overall
Linking Words
quality
Use synonyms
 is declining.
For example
Linking Words
, there is
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
 study, in 2015, in Japan, researchers checked
gas
Correct article usage
the gas
show examples
 which is
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 as a fuel for automobiles. Namely, they compare the
quality
Use synonyms
 of the newly produced gas
and
Change preposition
with that
show examples
 made many
years
Use synonyms
 ago. The study was finished with
newly
Correct article usage
the newly
show examples
 produced gas
was
Correct pronoun usage
, which was
show examples
 effective and productive. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some
products
Use synonyms
 which cannot
make
Wrong verb form
be made
show examples
 ahead, even
they
Correct word choice
though they
show examples
conserve
Wrong verb form
are preserved
show examples
 in high
quality
Use synonyms
 atmosphere.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 other problems that governments should pay attention
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
Instead
Linking Words
 of focusing on future problems, they should try to find solutions to today's
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
. Improving education, healthcare services, and public transport play a crucial role in the development of the country. They should allocate money to alleviate some issues,
such
Linking Words
 as
homlessness
Correct your spelling
homelessness
, diseases, and extreme poverty.
To sum up
Linking Words
, making
products
Use synonyms
 ahead
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a little
assist
Replace the word
assistance
.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think focusing on other essential sectors
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a
profounf
Correct your spelling
profound
 impact on the development and
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
 of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
. One of the best ways to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 problem is countys' officals should prioiritise finding ways to save natural resources,
instead
Linking Words
 of making
products
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can be used for many
years
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the main question more clearly from the start. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Develop your main ideas more. Each body paragraph should have one clear main point and then explain it well.
task response
Use examples that fit the question better. Your gas example is not very clear and does not strongly support your view about products lasting many years.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Some sentences are hard to understand, so the reader may lose your meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler way. Use clear words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one topic in each paragraph. The paragraph about future products moves to government spending, which feels off topic.
coherence and cohesion
You give a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You try to discuss both sides before giving your own view.
task response
You include an example to support your idea.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: