Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some undergraduates have an interest in studying other subject areas in parallel to their mainly focused
subjects
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because they can achieve a broader range of knowledge meanwhile, others argue that the importance of investing total
time
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and attention to the subject they are expertise since it is compulsory to have in-depth education about that specific area.
However
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, In my point of view, both these sides are equally significant and should be established in a balanced way,
therefore
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it is examined in
this
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essay. On one hand, university
students
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must have a wider capacity for comprehension of related fields too. It might help them to develop themselves into personalities who are capable of dealing with novel issues that arise in their own area. Take one of my experiences as an example, I specialised in microbiology at university, but I followed an optional module on biochemistry too. Hands-on experience in biochemistry
thus
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, assisted me in completing my research on microbiology. Familiarity with other closely related
subjects
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is
therefore
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needful for undergraduates.
On the other hand
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,
students
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should have an in-depth understanding of their main subject so they need more and more
time
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to master it other than learning the optional fields.
For instance
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, medical
students
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should be well qualified and trained at their graduation since patients' lives would rely on their hands.
Hence
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, undergraduates need not waste their valuable
time
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by
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apply
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mastering other areas of
subjects
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. In conclusion, getting some understanding about more related
subjects
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might help university
students
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to be fully equipped to face possible problems in their own field, but it should be given the same importance as expertise in their main area by thoroughly studying it since it will shape their future professional career. In my opinion,
therefore
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, both of these arguments have the same value
hence
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students
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should be more intelligent to utilize their
time
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in a balanced way.
Submitted by tlakshani005 on

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coherence cohesion
You should aim to maintain a logical and clear progression of ideas throughout your essay. Your paragraphs need to be well-organized, each starting with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting information that stays focused on the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, you could more explicitly signpost your arguments and make use of linking words or phrases to better connect sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the reader's ability to follow your line of reasoning and strengthen the overall cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and establish the topic and your viewpoint, however, they could be enhanced by providing a more concise thesis statement and by avoiding redundancies.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and presented a clear response. Nonetheless, for a higher band score, ensure that you fully develop your main points, extend your ideas more thoroughly, and demonstrate a critical understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Although you have included some examples to support your points, these could be expanded upon with more depth and detail to truly illustrate and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Remember to provide a balanced discussion for both views and your own with equal depth. This involves giving adequate time and attention to exploring each view and ensuring that your opinion is backed by strong rationale and detailed explanation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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