Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some undergraduates have an interest in studying other subject areas in parallel to their mainly focused

subjects

Use synonyms

because they can achieve a broader range of knowledge meanwhile, others argue that the importance of investing total

time

Use synonyms

and attention to the subject they are expertise since it is compulsory to have in-depth education about that specific area.

However

Linking Words

, In my point of view, both these sides are equally significant and should be established in a balanced way,

therefore

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it is examined in

this

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essay. On one hand, university

students

Use synonyms

must have a wider capacity for comprehension of related fields too. It might help them to develop themselves into personalities who are capable of dealing with novel issues that arise in their own area. Take one of my experiences as an example, I specialised in microbiology at university, but I followed an optional module on biochemistry too. Hands-on experience in biochemistry

thus

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, assisted me in completing my research on microbiology. Familiarity with other closely related

subjects

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therefore

Linking Words

needful for undergraduates.

On the other hand

Linking Words

students

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should have an in-depth understanding of their main subject so they need more and more

time

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to master it other than learning the optional fields.

For instance

Linking Words

, medical

students

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should be well qualified and trained at their graduation since patients' lives would rely on their hands.

Hence

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, undergraduates need not waste their valuable

time

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

mastering other areas of

subjects

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. In conclusion, getting some understanding about more related

subjects

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might help university

students

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to be fully equipped to face possible problems in their own field, but it should be given the same importance as expertise in their main area by thoroughly studying it since it will shape their future professional career. In my opinion,

therefore

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, both of these arguments have the same value

hence

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students

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should be more intelligent to utilize their

time

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in a balanced way.

tlakshani005Tue Nov 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

You should aim to maintain a logical and clear progression of ideas throughout your essay. Your paragraphs need to be well-organized, each starting with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting information that stays focused on the topic at hand.

coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, you could more explicitly signpost your arguments and make use of linking words or phrases to better connect sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the reader's ability to follow your line of reasoning and strengthen the overall cohesion of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and establish the topic and your viewpoint, however, they could be enhanced by providing a more concise thesis statement and by avoiding redundancies.

task achievement

You have addressed the task and presented a clear response. Nonetheless, for a higher band score, ensure that you fully develop your main points, extend your ideas more thoroughly, and demonstrate a critical understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Although you have included some examples to support your points, these could be expanded upon with more depth and detail to truly illustrate and strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Remember to provide a balanced discussion for both views and your own with equal depth. This involves giving adequate time and attention to exploring each view and ensuring that your opinion is backed by strong rationale and detailed explanation.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The percentage of overweight children in westrn society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.

To what extent do you agree that the men and women should do the same job as each other.

These days in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.