IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore, every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is hard to imagine a home without running
water
Use synonyms
.
Water
Use synonyms
 is the source of life.
This
Linking Words
 ideology is presented in many religions, works of art and activist movements. It is a basic human right that supports health and living. That being said, it being free of charge may be a bit unrealistic given all the planning needed to provide
such
Linking Words
service
Correct article usage
a service
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I partially agree.
Water
Use synonyms
 nourishes humans and every other being on the planet. It is an extremely versatile matter. Not only is it used for basic drinking and cooking,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 is
essential
Rephrase
also essential
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 to farms and crops. It is difficult to think of a modern process that would not require access to
water
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 cleaning, cooling modern machinery or hygiene purposes.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 a necessary thing should not be given to some and
others not
Correct word order
not to others
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 for classist purposes.
Water
Use synonyms
's importance can be easily compared to oxygen
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 one can not live without it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is a basic human right.
However
Linking Words
, providing clean
water
Use synonyms
 may prove expensive.
For instance
Linking Words
, the cost of effectively running a
water
Use synonyms
salination
Correct your spelling
desalination
 plant.
Such
Linking Words
 establishments require heavy machinery
that is
Linking Words
 costly
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 addition to all the employees needed to run a smooth operation.
Evenmore
Correct your spelling
Even more
, the infrastructure needed to make sure
water
Use synonyms
 comes out of
very
Correct determiner usage
every
show examples
 tap does not build itself.
Oncemore
Correct your spelling
Once more
, we have to consider blue-collar workers. That being said, it should not be priced at a point
that is
Linking Words
 unattainable, but spread out at a low cost over a huge population. In conclusion, the human race would be extinct without access to clean
water
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is not an area that governments or corporations should aim to profit from.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say 'partially agree', but your end could say this again in a more direct way.
task response
Add one more clear example to support your ideas. For example, give one real case of water cost or public help.
task response
Explain your key points a bit more. Some ideas are good, but a few need one more line to show how or why.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some parts connect well, but words like 'Such as' are not used in the best way.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in a more even way. The second body part has many short points, so it can feel less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word forms and spelling in connectors, because they can stop the flow of reading.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear side: you partly agree.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic all the way.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas move in a logical order from need for water to cost of supply.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
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