IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter

#accommodation #english #country #condition #furniture #landlord
Dear Mr. Jurgen, I am writing to share my concerns regarding the bed and sofa used by our visitors. They have proven to be quite uncomfortable for guests staying in our home for short periods, leading to negative feedback.
In other words
, it is imperative that we find a solution to replace them as soon as possible.
Furthermore
, the sofa appears to be excessively worn, with springs protruding and the cover material damaged. I
also
 suspect that your cat may have contributed to the damage, as I have noticed cat fur on the sofa.
Additionally
, my family will be staying at our house in the coming weeks, and both my father and mother have health issues. Given the circumstances, I cannot risk using these furniture items in my home. I strongly propose replacing the furnishings, and I kindly request a refund for the expenses incurred.
As a result
, your agreement on
this
 matter would be greatly appreciated. If you have the opportunity to visit us and define the condition of the furniture, please do not hesitate to contact us. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Take care of yourself. Kind regards, Salih Zeki Köni
Submitted by salihzekikoni on

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task achievement
The letter generally maintains a clear position throughout, but it may benefit from more specific detail to fulfill all parts of the task. Mentioning the exact nature of the furniture issue, the requested action from the landlord, and possibly a timeline would make the response more complete.
task achievement
The overall tone of the letter could be more formal and polite which is expected in a letter to a landlord. Phrases such as 'Take care of yourself' are informal and not typically used in such correspondence. Consider using more conventional closing remarks.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the letter is quite good, as the content is organized and presented with a clear progression of ideas. However, there could be clearer paragraphing, with each paragraph dedicated to a single point or request.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter could be improved to match the expected format for IELTS. The greeting should have been 'Dear Mr. Jurgen,' with a comma, and the closing could be more appropriately formal, such as 'Yours sincerely' followed by a comma and your full name.
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