IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say the government should not put money into building theaters and sports stadiums, they should spend more money on medical care and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree this opinion?

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A good government management is followed by
deliverying iqually
Correct your spelling
delivering equally
 in all sector as cultural, sports, educational and medical.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in
reallity
Correct your spelling
reality
 it does not
works
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 as they should for many factores as corruption, low demands of competent
autorities
Correct your spelling
authorities
, a pehaps most iimportant the relation of the population with social politics topics.
Theaters
Change the spelling
Theatres
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 and Stadiums
instead
Linking Words
 of medical
care
Use synonyms
 and education is an argument that holds considerable merit
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is up to the population
with
Correct word choice
and
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 the government
work
Verb problem
to work
show examples
 together to find the best solution
to
Change preposition
for
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 everybody. 
While
Linking Words
 having access to cultural and sports experiencies with good theaters and Stadiums it is a privilege
that is
Linking Words
 not everybody has daily and maybe it will be a progress if we had it, in the other hand the medical
care
Use synonyms
 and education wich i am inclined to agree is undeniable and essencial to everybody in every corner of the world and it should not be a question invest or not in clauses like that. A person well educated, with good medical
Use synonyms
care
Punctuation problem
care,
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 has strong power to fight for their rights and protest about
decisons
Correct your spelling
decisions
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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not always in
prol
Correct your spelling
the
 greater good
that is
Linking Words
 exclusivelly on the
governmente's
Correct your spelling
government's
hand
Check wording
hands
show examples
. For the conclusion
Punctuation problem
,
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I share the view that the people did not
to
Wrong verb form
apply
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choose between
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 education and medical
care
Use synonyms
 wich is the bare minimuim or
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 able to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life with possibilities to have
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 to culture and sports
activities
Punctuation problem
activities,
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 as for sure the people
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 manage the does not have too.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in the first paragraph and keep this view through the essay.
task response
Add one or two simple examples to support your ideas, such as why health and school need more money than theaters and stadiums.
task response
Make each main paragraph about one clear idea only. This will help your ideas grow in a full and clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, however, and in conclusion to connect ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Write shorter sentences. Some sentences are too long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Put the conclusion in a clear final paragraph and restate your main view in simple words.
task response
You answer the main topic and show your opinion about health care and education.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to compare both sides of the topic, which is good for essay development.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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