It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Whether

retirement

Use synonyms

should be treated as an individual duty or a government responsibility is a major issue in ageing societies. I partly agree that

people

Use synonyms

should save for later life, but I strongly disagree that governments have no obligation at all. A fair system should combine personal planning with a public safety net, because not everyone has the same chance to build private wealth. Individuals should undoubtedly save when they can.

People

Use synonyms

with stable jobs and regular incomes should contribute to pension schemes, savings accounts, or long-term investments, as

this

Linking Words

gives them greater independence in old age. It

also

Linking Words

reduces pressure on taxpayers, especially in countries where the number of elderly citizens is rising.

For example

Linking Words

, a young engineer who saves a small amount every month from the beginning of his career is likely to retire with more comfort and choice than someone who depends entirely on state support.

However

Linking Words

, relying only on personal savings would be unfair and unrealistic. Many workers earn just enough to cover rent, food, transport, and family expenses, so they cannot save much even if they are responsible. Others,

such

Linking Words

as unpaid carers, disabled

people

Use synonyms

, or those who lose their jobs, may have very limited opportunities to prepare financially.

For instance

Linking Words

, a low-paid cleaner who has worked for forty years may still reach

retirement

Use synonyms

with little money. In

such

Linking Words

cases, a basic government pension is not a luxury; it is a protection against poverty and humiliation.

Moreover

Linking Words

, public

retirement

Use synonyms

support benefits society as a whole. When elderly

people

Use synonyms

can afford housing, food, and healthcare, families and charities face less pressure.

Therefore

Linking Words

, governments should guarantee a minimum income,

while

Linking Words

individuals should save extra for a more comfortable lifestyle. In conclusion,

retirement

Use synonyms

should not be left entirely to either citizens or the state.

People

Use synonyms

must plan responsibly, but governments have a clear duty to protect older citizens from poverty.

shahdalshareef2

Jul 14, 2026

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task response

For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, add one more strong idea on why the state should help old people.

task response

For task response, your examples are good and easy to understand. You can make them even better by adding one real country or system as an example.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has one main idea. To improve, use a few more linking words between some ideas inside paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your conclusion is clear and matches your opinion. For a higher score, make one body paragraph develop a point a little more deeply.

task response

For task response, you answer all parts of the question and clearly show a partly agree position.

task response

For task response, your ideas are relevant and supported with clear examples.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a strong structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a clear order and are easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement savings
financial planning
economic circumstances
government provision
basic state pension
financial independence
income disparities
aging populations
social safety net
tax burden
financial education
quality of life
personal financial responsibility
social inequality

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