IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter - explain why you need this time off - give details of when you want the time off - say who can do your work when you are away You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ............,

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 White, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to explain why I need to take two weeks off and the time
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 my holidays. I started work in our company
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 July 2008. Since
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
then,
show examples
 I
did
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 not
go
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
 back to China. I found
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
out
in
Correct word choice
that in
show examples
 the next few weeks our department
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 lots
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 to do,
So
Fix capitalization
so
show examples
 I think maybe it is a good chance for me to take two weeks off and go back to China
enjoy
Verb problem
to enjoy
show examples
 the holidays with my family and friends. I checked the next
avalieable
Correct your spelling
available
 ticket will be
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 01 August 2009,
So
Fix capitalization
so
show examples
 I am thinking take my holiday from 01/08/2009 to 15/08/2009. I talked with Brian Kiby today, he said he will cover my work during the time I will
in
Verb problem
be in
show examples
 China, and I will bring my laptop with me
, everyday
Correct word order
. Every day,
show examples
 I will check my emails and will resolve any problems Brian can not fix. Thanks again for your attention
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours Sincerely

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add a bit more detail about why this time is needed now.
task response
Task response: Keep the tone polite all the way, for example use clear request words and a full closing.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are in a good order, but some lines are hard to follow because of word order and grammar.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use simple link words like first, also, because, and finally to make the letter flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each part: reason, dates, and work cover.
task response
Task response: You cover the reason, the dates, and who will do your work.
task response
Task response: The tone is mostly polite and right for a letter to a boss.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You group similar ideas together in the same part of the letter.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: