The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph below illustrates population density in four different Asian countries in the
years
Use synonyms
ranging from 1970 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
in Malaysia is the highest over the period shown.
While
Linking Words
Numbers of civilians in
Thailand
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
stable
through
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
years
Use synonyms
. In 1970,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
was the most crowded country compared to the countries in
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
show examples
with 31%.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
was just above 10%
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
the lowest present in the figure. In 2000 and
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
Indonesia overtook
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
and
Thailand
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
keep increasing . The first 20
years
Use synonyms
Philippines
Use synonyms
and Malaysia
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated ,
while
Linking Words
other countries
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
steadily
raising
Verb problem
rising
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
the
predication that
Check wording
prediction
show examples
shown in
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
show examples
, in 2040
malaysia
Capitalize the proper name
Malaysia
show examples
will rise dramatically to a peak of 80%. In comparison, each of
Thailand
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, and Indonesia will start
increase
Verb problem
to increase
show examples
gradually.
However
Linking Words
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
has
been record
Wrong verb form
recorded
show examples
the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
percentage of population in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
20
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, thailand, philippines with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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