Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that sometimes we have to
work
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individeuly
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individually
and in other situations we must be part of the team.
While
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it is commonly held belief that we must
work
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togther
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together
all the time, there is
also
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an
argumant
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argument
that we should
compet
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compete
against each other. In
this
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essay will
analys
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analyse
this
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topic from
poth
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both
points of view and express my opinion. On one hand,
team
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teamwork
work
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could lead to
incridble resolt
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incredible results
.
In other words
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, some projects need a
verity
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variety
of skills or diffrence field of
expertyes
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expertise
or
educatinal
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educational
background, so all these
diffrente
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different
people working
togther
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together
as a huge
teame
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team
to
achive
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achieve
one big goal could lead to the greaties achivenist. In
adittion
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addition
, it is crucial to
aducate
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educate
youth in schools
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this
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in this
show examples
valiuble mannor
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valuable manner
and
rise
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raise
show examples
them by showing how it is crucial to cooperate with each other
eaven
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even
at home.
For example
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, the
greatist
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greatest
countries of the world
how
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
changed
it
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
future into
somthing fabeluse
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something fabulous
, could not
succese
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succeed
without cooperative
work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, competition is crucial in some
enviroment
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environments
to
encurge
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encourage
people to give the best of
them
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themselves
show examples
.
Is
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It
show examples
is
possiple
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possible
to say that depend on the
satuation
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situation
.
Moreover
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, competition in
Use synonyms
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
enviroment
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environment
could
achive
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achieve
the instutusion big goals and educate young people to challenge
themsilvs an othes
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themselves and others
.
in conclucion
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In conclusion
, there is no easy
awnser
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answer
for
sush qustion
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such a question
. On balance,
however
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, I tend to
belive
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believe
that both ways
so
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are so
show examples
important and
depent
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depend
on the goals or projects, we must choose what to do.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about team work and competition, but the part on competition is too short.
task response
Give your opinion more clearly. Say early and clearly which side you support, or say clearly that both are needed in different cases.
task response
Use more clear main ideas in each body paragraph. One main idea, then explain it, then give one simple example.
task response
Your example about great countries is not clear enough. Use a more real and direct example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good, but some sentences do not connect well.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand', but ideas inside the paragraph need smoother links.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more direct. Start each body paragraph with one clear point.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph development. The second body paragraph is much shorter than the first, so the essay feels unbalanced.
task response
You discuss both views, so you address the task.
task response
You give your own opinion in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic paragraphing and simple linking phrases.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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