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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart provides key information about estimated world
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 rates, by region and by gender
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the percentage of female
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 (shown in purple) is higher than male (shown in blue) in all regions.
In addition
Linking Words
, South Asia ranked first in
both
Use synonyms
 genders’
illiteracy
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 Developed countries show the lowest rate.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, Latin American/Caribbean
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 rates
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 gender around 10%. But in East Asia/
Oceania
Punctuation problem
Oceania,
show examples
 the percentage of
man
Check wording
men
show examples
 is under 10%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 for
woman
Check wording
women
show examples
 is 20%.
Whole Developed Countries
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
illiteracy
Use synonyms
is
Check wording
rate in whole developed countries is
show examples
 almost nonexistent
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 approximately 1% for
both
Use synonyms
. In terms of Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab States and
south
Capitalize the proper name
South
show examples
 Asia
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 recorded the highest numbers in
both
Use synonyms
 genders.
However
Linking Words
, the rate of
illiteracy
Use synonyms
Male
Change preposition
among males
show examples
 is about 30%,
while
Linking Words
 Female
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 is nearly 50%. Whole the rate of male
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 is much lower than that of
Female
Replace the word
females
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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