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Writing Samples
Band 5

Bar chart shows the top ten countries for consumption and production of electricity in 2014.

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The Bar chart provides key information about the top ten countries for
Use synonyms
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
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 and
production
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 of
electricity
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 in
year
Check wording
apply
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2014.
the
Capitalize the word
The
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 units are measured in
billion
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kWh
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the
consumption
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 is more than the
production
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 in each country.
In addition
Linking Words
, China received the highest
Electricity
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,
whereas
Linking Words
Korea, Rep.
Correct word order
the Republic of Korea
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 got the lowest rank for
Electricity
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 for both
production
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 and
consumption
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.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, China got 5,398
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
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 in
production
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, and 5,322
billion
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kWh
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 of
Consumption
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. The United States have 4,099
billion
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kWh
Use synonyms
production
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 and 3,866
consumption
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. which is
this
Linking Words
 tow countries have the largest
electricity
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.
Change the punctuation
?
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in
Capitalize the word
In
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 terms of Russia, Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil and Korea, Rep. got numbers around 1000
into
Change preposition
to
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 440 in both.
However
Linking Words
, Germany has received 526.6
Production
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 and 582.5
Consumption
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it different from the rest.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, production, electricity, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • the bar chart shows
  • compares
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • in 2014
  • the top ten countries
  • the highest figure
  • the lowest figure
  • far higher than
  • slightly higher than
  • almost the same as
  • a small gap
  • a large gap
  • ranked first
  • ranked second
  • came third
  • accounted for
  • produced more than it used
  • used more than it produced
  • in general
  • overall
  • it is clear that
  • by contrast
  • while
  • whereas
  • respectively
  • figure
  • amount
  • use
  • power
  • close to
  • well above
  • well below
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