IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some counntries, the cost of living is rapidly increasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

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Rising
cost
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 of living is a global challenge which has a detrimental
effects
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effect
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 on people around the world. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is the result of poor
government
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 regulations on crucial sectors
such
Linking Words
 as housing,
thus
Linking Words
 driving up simple day to day expense. In recent years, large
companies
Use synonyms
 have been operating in partnerships that
strenghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 their influence over the market.
This
Linking Words
does
Verb problem
apply
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not only
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 them to manipulate the customer for profit but
also
Linking Words
eliminate
Correct subject-verb agreement
eliminates
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 any smaller competitors.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the
government
Use synonyms
 doesn't enforce proper regulations on these
companies
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, they are even more likely to exploit their advantages.
As strong
Correct word choice
Strong
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government
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 policy can limit the capabilities and controls that these
companies
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 have.
For instance
Linking Words
, the mobile network industry in Thailand has only three massive
companies
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 for
citizen
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citizens
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 to
chooses
Wrong verb form
choose
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 from. These
companies
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 work in tandem, cutting deals with one another that result in more profit margin for them
while
Linking Words
 cutting down choices for
customer
Check wording
customers
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. The effects of
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
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cost
Use synonyms
 of living cannot be overlooked, especially on young adults. University
graduate
Correct subject-verb agreement
graduates
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 often
struggles
Correct subject-verb agreement
struggle
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 to live independently. One of the most prominent
problem
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problems
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 is housing, which has
skyrocketted
Correct your spelling
skyrocketed
 in the
last
Linking Words
 decade. Compared to the past,
Use synonyms
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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 of buying a house or simply renting has risen to the point that it is almost impossible for
first
Correct article usage
a first
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 jobber to afford.
Consequently
Linking Words
, leading to many young people
unable
Verb problem
being unable
show examples
 to live comfortably.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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 of living has been rapidly increasing
due to
Linking Words
monopolizing
Replace the word
monopolisation
 and poor
government
Use synonyms
 management.
This
Linking Words
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 to limit
customer's
Check wording
customers'
show examples
 choices and creates hardship
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 for young adults trying to settle on their own.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully: reasons and effects.
task response
Add one more clear reason for high prices, not only big companies.
task response
Explain the social effects with more detail and more than one group.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with words like because, so, however, and for example.
coherence and cohesion
Make each example directly support the main point.
task response
You answer both questions and give your opinion.
task response
You use a real example from Thailand, which helps your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are easy to follow most of the time.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Inflation
  • Demand-pull inflation
  • Cost-push inflation
  • Property prices
  • Rent costs
  • Domestic and international buyers
  • Supply chain disruptions
  • Geopolitical tensions
  • Scarcity
  • Wage stagnation
  • Fiscal policies
  • Globalization
  • Financial strain
  • Economic factors
  • Subsidy cuts
  • Technological advancements
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