IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Cooking food is a waste of time in today’s hectic life. Fast food restaurant are helpful in modern living and it is less stressful. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 think that cooking
food
Use synonyms
 is a pointless activity
consedering
Correct your spelling
considering
 today's chaotic lifestyle.
Consequently
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more suitable. I completely disagree with that idea because fast
food
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 mostly not healthy and can be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our
overall
Linking Words
 well-being. Many ideas suggest that cooking by yourself is more beneficial for
people
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it can improve health.
This
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 is mainly because
people
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 can be aware
every
Change preposition
of every
show examples
 ingredient that your
food
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 contains
Linking Words
consequently
Punctuation problem
, consequently
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 you can easily control your sugar and salt
rate
Check wording
intake
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 who
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 their own
food
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 are less exposed to obesity since they have control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 their
food
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.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 habit protects everyone from diseases and saves lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, eating in fast
food
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 restaurants can
be often
Correct word order
often be
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 expensive.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is not given to everybody to afford fast
food
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
west
Capitalize the proper name
West
show examples
 African countries, most
people
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 with a low or average income prefer making their own
food
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 every day and occasionally buying fast
foods
Check wording
food
show examples
 for the sake of pleasure.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 mostly cook their own meals since
this
Linking Words
 option is much more affordable and healthier.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can increase
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people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 productivity and make them more independent. It means that
people
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 can improve
cooking
Correct determiner usage
their cooking
show examples
 skills. As
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 example, students who cook for themselves are likely to be hired in
food
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-related part-time jobs.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
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 become more efficient in other activities than their main
works
Check wording
work
show examples
.
To sum up
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, I firmly believe that cooking
food
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 is way better since it gives more control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 your health and is mostly cheaper.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts sound unnatural.
task achievement
Give one strong example and explain it more.
task achievement
Stay close to the question. Talk more about why fast food is not better for modern life.
task achievement
Check word forms and grammar because they can make your ideas less clear.
task achievement
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
task achievement
You use examples to support your ideas.
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