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Writing Samples
Band 7

the graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101

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The diagram provides data on the transformation in birth and
death
Use synonyms
 rates in New Zealand
,
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 over the span of 200 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, between 2 centuries, the trend of
death
Use synonyms
 has grown. The trend of birth rates rises
Linking Words
then
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, then
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 contracts. Between 1901 and 2001, the
death
Use synonyms
rate
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 kept fluctuating. To add to that, there was a small sudden spike around 1921, where the
rate
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 rose by 6,000.
In addition
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, the birth
rate
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 increased gradually until 1941. The following years’
rate
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 increased significantly. In approximately 1960, the number of babies born reached the peak of 65,000. There was a sudden fall in 1981 to 50,000. From
then
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 onwards, the count of newborns decreased.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
death
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 kept rising at a steady
rate
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. In the future years, it is predicted trend of the number of deceased is said to continue growing,
whereas
Linking Words
;
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 the count of newborns is to decline.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words death, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • birth rate = the number of births
  • death rate = the number of deaths
  • rise = go up
  • fall = go down
  • peak = the highest point
  • remain stable = stay almost the same
  • gradual increase = slow rise
  • gradual decrease = slow fall
  • overtake = become higher than
  • gap = difference
  • figure = number
  • trend = general change over time
  • forecast = guess about the future
  • by contrast = when we compare
  • overall = in general
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