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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the percentage of people aged over 60 in Canada, Finlandand Korea between 1950 and 2050.

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The line graph illustrates the
proportion
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 of
people
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 aged 60 and over in
Canada
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,
Finland
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 and
Korea
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 from 1950 to 2050.
Overall
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, the
proportion
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 of elderly
people
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 increased in all three countries over the period.
Canada
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 and
Finland
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 experienced a steady upward trend,
while
Linking Words
Korea
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 showed a more dramatic fluctuation, with a slight decline in the first half, which was followed by a rapid increase afterwards
Canada
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 and
Finland
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 followed a relatively similar upward trend in
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
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 population throughout the period. In
Canada
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, the
proportion
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 of elderly
people
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 --ageing population rose gradually from about 5% in 1950 to approximately 25% in 2050.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
Finland
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 saw a steady increase, with the figure climbing from around 5% to nearly 25% over the same period.
Korea
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,
however
Linking Words
,
which illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the
competely
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completely
 different pattern. The
proportion
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 of elderly
people
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 fell slightly from about 5% in 1950 to around 3% in 1980. After that, the figure began to rise -
-
Punctuation problem
apply
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recover gradually, before increasing dramatically after 2000. By 2050,
Korea
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 was projected to overtake both
Canada
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 and
Finland
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, reaching the highest level -
-
Punctuation problem
apply
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peak of approximately 30%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, people, canada, finland, korea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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