IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

THE BEST WAY TO MEASURE S SUCESS IS TO LOOK AT HOW MUCH MONEY THAT PERSON HAS

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Nowadays,
this
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 issue has become
incresingle
Correct your spelling
increasingly
 important in our modern society.
People
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 have different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 about
this
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 topic.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view before giving my opinion.I cannot say that I completely agree with
this
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 statement,but I partially agree with it, because if some
people
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will a
Wrong verb form
are
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 successful human you automatically have a lot of
money
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Punctuation problem
,
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such
Linking Words
 as your
work
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 is important
for
Change preposition
to
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 you and
people
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 value their
work
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 and set a price that reflects
it s
Correct your spelling
its
 quality.
FIRSTLY
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,there are several reasons why
people
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 are successful
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they have
money
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.A
person
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 cannot become rich overnight .To become wealthy,a
person
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 should stay motivated and should not give up
, yes
Punctuation problem
. Yes
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, it is stressful
is
Correct word choice
and
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 complicated to start from zero, but some of the richest
people
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 in the world
,
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apply
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built their
success
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 through hard
work
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, innovation, and entrepreneurship.
SECONDLY
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,some
people
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 claim that many
human
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humans
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 believe that
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success
Replace the word
successful
 automation comes with
money
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,
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;
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Linking Words
however
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however,
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this
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 is not always the case,
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 true
success
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also
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 depends on hard
work
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, determination , and personal development. A good example is our local singer, THE MOTANS OR DENIS ROABES.
This
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person
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 started from zero and followed his dream of becoming a successful artist. Through hard
work
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, dedication,and perseverance, the artist gradually achieved
success
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 and became a beloved singer.TODAY is appreciated by many
people
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including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 me, for his talent,personality,and the emotions
brings
Wrong verb form
brought
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 through his music IN CONCLUSION,
BOTH VIEW
Fix the agreement mistake
both views
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 have valid arguments ,
,THE BEST WAY TO MENSURE S SUCCES IS TO LOOK AT HOW MUCH
Punctuation problem
because
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MONEY
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 THAT
PERSON
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 HAS,, BECAUSE if you do what you love , you will
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as
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, as
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 a
result
Punctuation problem
result,
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 earn
money
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 from it.

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task response
Answer the main idea more clearly. Say from the start if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view to the end.
task response
Give more clear reasons for your view. Some ideas are there, but they need more full explanation.
task response
Use one or two specific examples and explain how they support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part about one main idea only. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and finally, but use them in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your meaning is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss more than one side of the topic.
task response
You give a real example about a singer, and this helps your essay feel more real.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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