These days people do not go out for live performances or concerts and they prefer to enjoy watching them on computers and laptops. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays , many
people
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discuss the issue of
people
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who prefer to watch
concerts
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and performances
at
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on
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computers and laptops in
thare
Correct your spelling
their
home
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.
Whail
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While
show examples
some
people
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believe that
go
Wrong verb form
going
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out
and
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to
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live performances or
concerts
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can make
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great memories to remember .
Linking Words
this
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In this
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essay i will explain why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
agree with
have
Wrong verb form
having
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a great time in
concert
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rethar
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rather
than
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
home
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and
whatch
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watching
it on my laptop. First of all , one important point is that
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concert
Correct article usage
a concert
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is a huge party
the
Correct word choice
where the
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artist perform hes songs live for
people
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who love him .
This
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means that
people
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out there feel happy and they wear the best
clothis
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clothes
to take pictures with
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thair
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their
friends .
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the word
For
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example , one of the biggest
concerts
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in
the hestory
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history
was
michal jacsons
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Michael Jackson's
concerts
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.
Becase
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Because
his songs
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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so
famouse
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famous
and the words , beat , and the background music
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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really fantastic. As a
resault
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result
,
people
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made a
beatiful
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beautiful
and took
alot
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a lot
of
photoshots
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photos
.
Therefor
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Therefore
, live
concerts
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can give you
graet expeariance
Correct your spelling
great experience
.
On the other hand
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, another important point
that
Verb problem
is that
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some
people
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prefer to watch
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concert
Correct article usage
a concert
show examples
at
home
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in
thair
Use synonyms
device . In onother word , they feel more comfortable
whail
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while
watching
thair
Use synonyms
favorate
artist
Check wording
artist's
show examples
performance in
Use synonyms
thair
Correct your spelling
their
bed with
Use synonyms
thair
Correct your spelling
their
snacks .
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the word
For
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instance ,some
people
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can not afford tickets
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
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, they can not go to the
concert
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.
This
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leads to
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
home
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and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
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the
concert
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in laptop or computer .
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
watch
concert
Use synonyms
at house in my
loptop
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laptop
is a great
idea
Punctuation problem
idea,
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a i strongly agree with it .
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
conclusion , after
conidering
Correct your spelling
considering
all the main points ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
the
concerts
Use synonyms
is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
wonderful and great experience
you
Rephrase
where you
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can make memories and enjoy your time with your friends .
Although
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.opposite
Correct determiner usage
the opposite
show examples
side may have some value ,watching
Use synonyms
concert
Correct article usage
a concert
show examples
in your house at your computer
whail
Correct your spelling
while
you feel relaxed can make you feel more comfortable .
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who can not afford tickets or feel uncomfortable should watch
Use synonyms
concert
Correct article usage
the concert
show examples
at
home
Use synonyms
in
thair
Use synonyms
device.

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task response
Make your main view clear from the start and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Answer the question more directly. Say how far you agree, not both sides in an unclear way.
task response
Add one or two clear examples that directly support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like First, Also, However, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it and does not change the main point.
task response
You gave ideas for both going out and staying at home.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to use examples to support your points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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