IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You and your family are moving to another country, and you are looking for rented accommodation there. Write a letter to a property agent. In your letter: Introduce yourself and your family Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find Give your preference for the location of the accommodation

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apply for your service to find rental accommodation for my family. My name is Tien , and I will move to Hue City with my family. My family consists of five members
:
Punctuation problem
:
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 my parents, my wife, my daughter and myself. Currently, we are looking for a spacious and comfortable house
and
Correct word choice
or
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 apartment
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 with 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms to comfortably accommodate all of us.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a fully equipped kitchen is essential for our daily life needs, and we would have some outdoor space,
such
Linking Words
 as a garden or a balcony. In terms of location, safety and
near
Verb problem
being near
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to
Change preposition
apply
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public transport are our top priorities. We would like to reside in or near the city centre for
overall
Linking Words
 convenience.
However
Linking Words
, we are open to nearby suburbs, which
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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 a peaceful environment and convenient access to the city. Thank you very much for your assistance. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Tien

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add a little more detail about the home, like rent, size, or time to move.
task response
Task response: Use a more natural line like 'I am looking for a house or an apartment' instead of 'house and apartment'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are clear, but some lines can link better. Use simple words like 'also', 'so', and 'because'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Check small word choice and grammar, like 'near public transport' and 'which brings' to make the flow smoother.
task response
Task response: You cover all three points in the task.
task response
Task response: The tone is polite and right for a letter to an agent.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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