It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #places #squares #parks

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Outdoor

spaces

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are often avenues for socialization in a

community

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. It's where people from different cultures, statuses, or nationalities meet and connect.

In addition

Linking Words

, it can be a good place to improve the mental and physical

health

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of a

community

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. I believe that all towns and cities should invest in building larger outdoor

spaces

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. Squares and parks are places where families or different communities can host gatherings

such

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as picnics or games. It provides a venue for nurturing relationships and improving the unity of a

community

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For example

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, playgrounds are a good place for children to meet and play.

This

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will not only improve their ability to communicate but

also

Linking Words

is a great way for them to be active.

Moreover

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, nowadays we are often surrounded by tall and daunting buildings.

Such

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scenery induces the feeling of isolation and depression. Being in constant seclusion increases our stress and will have negative effects on our

health

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But

Correct word choice

However

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having public

spaces

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with greenery will promote a feeling of relief from all the hustle and bustle of the city.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it gives us an escape from the stress of city life. Not only will

this

Linking Words

be beneficial for our mental

health

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, but

also

Linking Words

will greatly improve our physical

health

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. In conclusion,

spaces

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for recreational activities and nature are important in living a good life. It reminds us that life is so much bigger and that there is a

community

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around us.

Thus

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, towns and cities should recognize its importance in improving their

resident's

Fix the agreement mistake

residents'

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lives and allocate more resources to make these

spaces

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bigger and to improve the facilities they will have.

Submitted by erickacasandra.abas on Sat Nov 09 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on specific examples or adding more diverse perspectives to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Although the essay is structured well, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly for enhanced flow.

introduction and conclusion presence

The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly present the writer's viewpoint.

logical structure

There is a logical progression of ideas, contributing to the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.

complete response

The essay addresses the prompt thoroughly and presents clear, comprehensive ideas.

clear comprehensive ideas

The discussion of mental and physical health benefits as well as socialization advantages is clear and persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Some companies sponsor sports as away to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss boyh sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the teenager’s years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people today struggle to use modern electronic technology such as smart phones and computers. Why do you think this is ? What can be done to solve this problem ?

Some people believe that eventually all the jobs will be done by artificial intelligence. What is your opinion?