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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

If old people are no longer physically, mentally, or financially able to look after themselves, younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There has always been a controversy regarding whether younger family members should take legal responsibility for supporting their elderly
who
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relatives who
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 are mentally, physically or financially unable to take
care
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 of themselves. Some opine that
this
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 would be the right thing to do,
while
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 there are many others who disagree. As for me, I agree with the statement , and
this
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 essay will discuss my views. Youngsters are capable depending on their age.
This
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 is because they always have the family to rely on and look up to.
This
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 means they have the older experience generation to seek guidance and assistance from.
Furthermore
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, when the younger members were kids , the older generations took
care
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 of them.
Therefore
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, it is only right to stay as a family and take
care
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 of each other. The moral option would be to take
care
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 of them. Especially, as they have been the teachers and pillars that taught them how to be and survive as who they are now.
Therefore
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, legally, it is right as if it were optional
,
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;
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 they wouldn’t have opted to take on the responsibility.
On the other hand
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, it would be difficult to make major decisions.
This
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 is because they lack the knowledge.
This
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 can lead to making the wrong decisions.
As a consequence
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, the family may be in a more difficult situation.
Moreover
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, many may not have had a good childhood
,
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;
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 they would have struggled and worked part-time
while
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 juggling their studies to be where they are now based entirely on all their earned hard work. In conclusion, the youth should be responsible for their families;
nevertheless
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, it depends on the age and occupation of the person , which determines their capability.

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task response
Give a clearer answer all through the essay. You say you agree, but later you say it depends. This makes your view less clear.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are short and not fully developed.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas and paragraphs. Some parts jump too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea. This will help the essay feel more organized.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection inside paragraphs. A few sentences do not connect smoothly.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs to separate ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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