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Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, buying used
clothes
Use synonyms
 has become popular among youngsters.
This
Linking Words
 is because many
adolescents
Use synonyms
 try to be like famous people, and I think it is a positive development because
teenagers
Use synonyms
 can save
money
Use synonyms
 for other useful things. Many
adolescents
Use synonyms
 buy used
clothes
Use synonyms
 because they want to be like famous people.
That is
Linking Words
 to say that they need different outfits for any occasion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 expensive.
That is
Linking Words
 because they cannot cope with the financial burden of buying new
clothes
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 from stores,
such
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 as Prada or Gucci.
As a result
Linking Words
, many youngsters buy second-hand
clothes
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in the United States, many
teenagers
Use synonyms
 buy used Gucci products in order to wear them and be like their idols. I think it is a positive development because
teenagers
Use synonyms
 who buy used shirts or pants can save
money
Use synonyms
 for other useful things,
such
Linking Words
 as a computer or a car.
That is
Linking Words
 to say that, if these
adolescents
Use synonyms
 have a computer, they could use it for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school or even to work in
computer related
Correct your spelling
computer-related
 jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, many
teenagers
Use synonyms
 can work as
a freelancer
Fix the agreement mistake
freelancers
show examples
 in many jobs that do not require high skills to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as making presentations or translating works from other language and
as a result
Linking Words
 earn
money
Use synonyms
 and save it. In conclusion, many
adolescents
Use synonyms
 are buying used
clothes
Use synonyms
 because they want to be like their idols, and I think it is a positive development because they can use the
money
Use synonyms
 they do not spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 useful things.

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task response
Answer both questions more fully. You explain why it is popular, but give one more reason too.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body paragraph at the start.
task response
Some examples are a bit long or not fully natural. Use short, direct examples.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words, but do not repeat the same phrase too much.
task response
In the last line, say 'spend on useful things' to make the meaning clear.
coherence and cohesion
Some parts move away from the main topic, like computer jobs. Keep closer to used clothes and young people.
task response
You answer both parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
task response
You give examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your opinion is clear from the start.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cost-effective
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable alternatives
  • fast fashion
  • vintage
  • mainstream fashion
  • individuality
  • social media influencers
  • celebrities
  • promoting sustainability
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