IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people keep dogs and cats as companions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of pet ownership for animals involved and for the community as a whole.

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Raising dogs and cats is becoming extremely popular in different communities
aroround
Correct your spelling
around
 the world.
This
Linking Words
 trend has multiple benefits and some drawbacks, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. First of all, nobody can neglect the positive effect of
pet
Use synonyms
 ownership on
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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 who are suffering from loneliness. Various international studies, published by
wellknown
Correct your spelling
well-known
 psychologists, have shown that
old
Correct word choice
older
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individuals managed to overcome depression
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 after they
have
Wrong verb form
apply
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raised a
pet
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, many of them indicated that they have felt more
secured
Replace the word
secure
,
due to
Linking Words
dogs
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dog
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 companions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, children growing up in families taking care of a
pet
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 usually show more empathy towards their parents
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
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, and their society in general. Living with an animal can provide a great opportunity for young children to experience the feeling of taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend can have some disadvantages as well. It can be really costly, especially
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a family with limited sources of income. Feeding a
pet
Use synonyms
, grooming it and providing medical
atreatments
Correct your spelling
treatments
 for it can cost a huge amount of money.
In addition
Linking Words
, some pets
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
cats
Punctuation problem
cats,
show examples
 can cause an adverse effect on individuals suffering from asthma.
Also
Linking Words
, many people complained
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 serious allergic reactions, caused by some
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of pets. Some of them needed to be admitted to a hospital to be treated
from
Change preposition
for
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 an allergy caused by a cat. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 raising dogs and cats can be very beneficial for the family itself and the whole community, it may
resault
Correct your spelling
result
 in some financial and health issues. It is really wise to balance the benefits and the drawbacks before making a decision
of owning
Wrong verb form
to own
show examples
 a
pet
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
Estimated score: 6. The question asks about pets for animals and for the community. Your essay mainly talks about people and families. Add clear ideas about animals, such as safe homes and care for pets, but also poor care, being left alone, or being given up. Add community ideas too, such as less loneliness, but also noise, waste, or loose dogs.
Task response
Make each point more fully explained. For example, say how a child learns care from feeding a pet every day, or how a cat allergy can affect life at home.
Task response
Your examples are useful, but “international studies” is too general. A simple, direct example from daily life may be stronger.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, move from old people to children with a clearer link, such as: “Pets can also help children in a different way.”
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long or not fully clear. Break them into shorter sentences. For example: “Many old people feel safer with a dog. A dog can also give them company every day.”
Coherence and cohesion
Check small word and space errors because they can make the writing less clear: “around”, “well-known”, “dog companions”, “medical treatments”, “result”, and “sources of income”.
Task response
You answer both sides: good and bad points of keeping pets. You also give a clear ending.
Task response
Your main ideas are easy to see: pets can help old people and children, but they can cost money and cause health problems.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, good points, bad points, and end.
Coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “First of all”, “Furthermore”, “However”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion” well.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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