IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think the government should subsidise fruits and vegetables to make healthy food more affordable. Others argue that the government should tax unhealthy food instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Eating healthy
food
Use synonyms
 is very important to become a healthier and
strong
Correct word choice
stronger
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 person . Some
people
Use synonyms
 see that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should make fruits and vegetables prices more affordable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 others think that they should tax the unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
. For
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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people
Use synonyms
 who agree with putting
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
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for
Change preposition
on
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 unhealthy
Use synonyms
food
Punctuation problem
food,
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 see that
people
Use synonyms
 will avoid
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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 unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 because it
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 more expensive . So, if the
food
Use synonyms
 has become unaffordable to buy
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 will gradually cut the unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
. Children will not tell their parents to buy them sweets or chips. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 agree that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should subsidies the fruits and vegetables to make everyone become a healthy person.
Also
Linking Words
, healthy
food
Use synonyms
 will be available everywhere and more affordable to buy .
Moreover
Linking Words
, we will
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
 to try different kind for fruits and cook more dishes with vegetables . In the end, to become a healthy person
we
Punctuation problem
, we
show examples
 should fouce about our
food
Use synonyms
 and what we eat more. I think that all the healthy
food
Use synonyms
 should become more affordable so everyone can become healthier and take care of their health .

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task response
Score: 5. You answer all parts, but your ideas need more detail. Explain why lower prices for fruit and vegetables can help poor families, not only make people healthy.
task response
Add a real example. For example, if apples cost less, a family may buy them for school lunch instead of sweets.
task response
For the tax view, explain that more money from the tax can help pay for health care or school food.
task response
Make your own view stronger. Say clearly if you support lower prices, a tax, or both, and give two clear reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Put one main idea in each body part. Start with the tax view, then give its reason and example. Do the same for lower prices.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links: “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, “However”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are hard to follow because the same words are used many times. Use short, clear sentences and check each sentence has a clear subject and verb.
coherence and cohesion
Your end should sum up both views before you give your view. This will make the full essay feel more complete.
task response
You discuss both ideas and give your own view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “Also”, “Moreover”, and “In the end”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • subsidise
  • fruits
  • vegetables
  • affordable
  • healthy food
  • unhealthy food
  • government
  • tax
  • encourage
  • buy
  • fresh food
  • processed food
  • population
  • healthcare costs
  • revenue
  • fitness programs
  • low-income families
  • fast food
  • accessible
  • prices
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