IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently visited a public park in your area and noticed that it needs improvement. Write a letter to the local authority responsible for maintaining the park. In your letter: •Introduce yourself •Describe the problems you noticed in the park •Suggest some improvements that could be made

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter as a resident of New Colony to bring to your attention that the
park
Use synonyms
 in our neighbourhood requires mowing and cleaning work, which seems to be pending for quite some time. During my
last
Linking Words
 visit to the
park
Use synonyms
 over the weekend, I observed that lawn maintenance appeared to have been neglected for a long time. The overgrown grass causes an unpleasant smell in the surrounding area.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, plastic bottles and empty beverage cans lying in the central playground area show that the garbage collection team has not visited the
park
Use synonyms
 for several weeks, and
this
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 clearly discourages children from exploring other places for their recreational activities. I would like to request that you send your maintenance team
this
Linking Words
 weekend. We, the local residents, will help them to expedite
this
Linking Words
 activity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I would request you to share the feedback with the garbage collection department and ensure they follow a strict schedule to collect waste from the
park
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I would appreciate it if you could arrange an urgent visit to clear the playground area
this
Linking Words
 week. Thanks for your time and consideration. I look forward to seeing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prompt action on these suggestions. Yours faithfully, Daljeet Singh

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task response
Give one more clear idea for the park, such as new bins, lights, or seats. This would make your ideas stronger.
task response
“Children from exploring other places” is not clear. Say that the mess stops children from using the playground.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences have too many ideas. Break them into shorter sentences for easier reading.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph repeats the request to clean the park. Put each request once, in a clear order.
task response
You cover all three parts: who you are, the park problems, and ideas to make it better.
task response
Your tone is polite and right for a letter to the local office.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear order: reason for writing, problems, then requests.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and closing are good: “Dear Sir or Madam” and “Yours faithfully” fit well.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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