IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, some cities organize vehicle-free days, during which private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are not allowed in the city centre. Instead, people are encouraged to travel by public transport, including buses and taxis.

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Nowadays, some cities
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
 vehicle-free
days
Use synonyms
, during which private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are not allowed in the city centre.
Instead
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are encouraged to travel by public
transport
Use synonyms
, including buses and taxis. One of the main advantages of banning
transports
Check wording
transport
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
some cities
that
Verb problem
is that
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
they have
show examples
 empty streets . If the government start banning
transports
Check wording
transport
show examples
 for a few
Use synonyms
days
Punctuation problem
days,
show examples
 streets will become quiet, paecfull and free of vehicle
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
emissions.
This
Linking Words
 is because streets are usually crowded and noisy.
As a result
Linking Words
, traffic jams and car accidents will decrease, quality of
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 will be better.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it helps to improve
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to rely on public transportation
instead
Linking Words
 of driving.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Uzbekistan
Add a comma
Uzbekistan,
show examples
 drivers do not
use
Use synonyms
transport
Use synonyms
 on Saturday and Sunday for
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 day. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
 can relax with their family on weekends. One of the biggest disadvantages of
day
Correct article usage
a day
show examples
 without cars is that
people
Use synonyms
 who work for
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 week
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
use
Use synonyms
 their cars and have to
use
Use synonyms
 buses, but sometimes workers can not get to locations.
This
Linking Words
 is public
transport
Use synonyms
 may not reach every area.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can lose their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because of
transport
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Dubai
Add a comma
Dubai,
show examples
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 may lose their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 because they can not get to
location
Correct article usage
the location
show examples
 without
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
, and
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 these special
days
Use synonyms
interferes
Correct word order
, people's
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 work
and
Verb problem
is interfered with and
show examples
get
Correct pronoun usage
they get
show examples
 their salary normally. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 vehicle-free
days
Use synonyms
 can cause some problems for workers and businesses, I believe they have more advantages. They help reduce air pollution, decrease traffic, and encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer is on topic, but some ideas need more support. For example, explain more clearly how one car-free day can help the air and how people can still get to work.
task response
The example about Uzbekistan is not clear. Say who does not use cars, why this rule exists, and how it shows the good side of car-free days.
task response
The Dubai example is too strong and not well shown. Do not say many people may lose their jobs unless you can show why. A better point is that some workers may be late when buses do not go near their work place.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Put one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body part, start with the main point, then give reasons and one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not link well. For example, change “This is public transport may not reach every area” to “This is because public transport may not reach every area.”
coherence and cohesion
Use link words with care. “For instance” should come before a real example. Also, do not repeat “As a result” too often; use “Because of this” or “So” as well.
task response
You give both good and bad points, and you clearly say that the good points are stronger in the end.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: less noise and dirty air, fewer jams, and problems for workers.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, good points, bad points, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful link words, such as “As a result”, “Moreover”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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