IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and pie chart illustrate populations in Australia according to different nationalities and areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The depicted graph delineates the information about the population of nationalities present in Australia and how many different races hold an Australian passport. The graph
also
Linking Words
 describes the percentage of different people holding the nationalities. The
overall
Linking Words
 summary of the given pie chart quite vividly illustrates and compares different races analyses their data , and shows
difference
Check wording
differences
show examples
 with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
. The information shows that
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 section has the most numbers out of the other breeds. In detail, as we
scrutinize
Change the spelling
scrutinise
show examples
 the data given in the chart, it demonstrates that over 73% of nationality holders are Australians, 14% are others, 7% are British, 3% are New Zealanders, 2% are Chinese
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 1% are Dutch.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the majority
itself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
 are Australians putting others in
second,
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 in third
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 New
Zealander
Check wording
Zealanders
show examples
 on fourth,
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
show examples
 on fifth and
putting
Verb problem
the
show examples
 Dutch at the very end.
According to
Linking Words
 the
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 it acknowledges that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most citizens are
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
 the native individuals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: