IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase Write a letter to the company that you bought the company from. In you email Give details of he purchase describe the problem explain why you need a replacemnet urgently

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Dear Sir/Madam, I hope you are doing well. I would like to bring several concerns to your attention about my order experience with your company. I placed an order for a
T-shirt
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last
Linking Words
 week, but its
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color
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colour
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 is not exactly the same as what is shown on your website. I wanted to purchase a
T-shirt
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 for my birthday party. I was searching an online shop, and I happened to visit your website. When I searched for the
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color
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colour
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 that I wanted to purchase, I found your recommendations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, based on your
recommendations
Punctuation problem
recommendations,
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 I immediately placed an order. After that, I received my package yesterday, and I wanted to try it. When I wore it, I noticed that the
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color
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colour
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 was different. Considering my situation, I would appreciate it if my item could be replaced by a new
T-shirt
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 which has
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color exactly what
Correct word order
the exact colour
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 I wanted. Alternatively, I could send your item with a package by post office, and your company could compansate my money because I have to buy a
t-shirt
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 before my birthday. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to your response. Kind regards, Ibrahim.

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task response
Score: 6. Say more about the order, such as the order number, size, price, and the right color. Make the need for a fast replacement more clear: give the date of your birthday party.
task response
Ask for one main action first. For example, ask for a replacement in the right color and say when you need it. Then say that a full refund is needed if this is not possible.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Use one main idea in each part. Part 1: order details. Part 2: the color problem. Part 3: why you need it soon and what you want.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not needed or are not clear. For example, 'Therefore' does not fit well. Use simple links such as 'However', 'As a result', and 'If not'.
coherence and cohesion
Make some lines shorter. This will help the reader find your main point fast.
task response
You give the key facts: what you bought, the main problem, and why you need help soon.
task response
Your tone is polite, and you ask for a new T-shirt or your money back.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, main part, and ending. The greeting and closing are good.
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