IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people in cities live alone or in small family units instead of with extended family. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Nowadays, more and more individuals living in large
cities
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 are living alone or in small
families
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instead
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 of big
families
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 .In
this
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 essay, I will be discussing why I strongly believe that it is a positive development.
To begin
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 with, many individuals living in
cities
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 prefer having small
families
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 because everything in
cities
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 is becoming extremely expensive. To elaborate,
cities
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 in general are more developed than towns ,so in
this
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 case, if individuals lived in a small family , they would be able to take care of themselves and provide all the essential things they need.A study has shown that 80 per cent of homes in the UK have a maximum of 4 people living in one house. Another reason to support my argument is that small
families
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 have good communication with each other since they are not big , and everyone can get along well. To illustrate, when people are getting
along with
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 their parents and siblings,
this
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 will reduce the amount of any possible misunderstanding and any toxic thinking between them.
As a result
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, an understanding family and a supportive environment are being provided by them. In my opinion, I believe that having a family is one of the most crucial things in a human life because they offer support and love to each other , and they are always there when we need them In conclusion, more people like living alone or in small
families
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due to
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 the comfort that it gives them in different life situations.

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task response
Score: 5. Your main idea is clear, but it needs more full support. Explain more clearly why a small family can deal with high city costs. For example, say that a smaller home, less food, and fewer daily costs may be easier to pay for.
task response
The question is also about people who live alone. Your essay mostly talks about small families. Add a main point about living alone, such as having more freedom, a shorter trip to work, or lower costs.
task response
The UK study is not well explained. It says that many homes have four or fewer people, but it does not prove that this is a good change. Use an example that directly shows the good side of small homes.
task response
Your fourth paragraph says families give love and support, but it does not add a new reason for your view. Use this space to develop one main point or compare small families with big families.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. The order is easy to follow, but some ideas do not link well. For example, the point about high costs moves too fast to people being able to take care of themselves. Show the link step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body paragraph on one clear idea. In paragraph two, focus on how a small family may have more time to talk and solve problems. Then give one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer long linking phrases if the next sentence is not fully clear. Simple links such as “This means”, “For this reason”, and “For example” can make your ideas easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end stronger. Restate your view and your two best reasons. Do not add a new idea at the end.
task response
You give a clear view: you think this is a positive change.
task response
You give two main reasons: city life costs a lot, and small families may have better talk.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To begin with”, “Another reason”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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