IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project he/she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter say how important New Year is to people in your country describe how New Year is celebrated in your country explain what you like about New Year celebrations in your country You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear,

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Dear Susan, I hope you are well. I'm so glad that you are asking me to help
your
Change preposition
with your
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 school project about celebrating
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 Year in different countries. I want to give you an example of my country, how we take part
our
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in the
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 Myanmar New Year festival in April. It's been popular and vital in the world for so many decades
due to
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 the fact that it's the traditional heritage for all citizens. In that time, we gracefully throw water
to
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at
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 others,
while
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 enjoying Thingyan songs throughout the roads.
Also
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, we can watch lots of stage performances in City Hall, where many singers or celebrities
entertain actively
Correct word order
actively entertain
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 with amusing music. The reason why I like
this
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 is
due to
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 the fact that it is the long vacation time for gathering family members, who
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 been working or studying in different districts. Wish you get flying colours in your project. With love, Swe Zin Moe

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task response
You answer all three parts. Add one more small detail about why New Year is important, such as family time or old beliefs. Use a more natural start: “I am glad to help with your college project.”
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a clear order: importance, what people do, and what you like. Use short links such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally”. Some long sentences can be split into two.
task response
You write about Myanmar New Year, water throwing, music, shows, and family time. These are good and clear examples.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a greeting, main body, and closing. Each paragraph has a main point.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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