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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows information about the favourite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.

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The bar chart illustrates information about the most popular
subjects
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 A and
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 Sport was by far the most favoured subject in
school
Use synonyms
 A, it was one of the least popular
subjects
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, Craft and Drawing had the highest number of
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
B
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,
whereas
Linking Words
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 received the fewest votes in
school
Use synonyms
 A.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Sport was chosen by 36
students
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 in
school
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 A, which was the highest figure,
while
Linking Words
 the number for
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 was only 5.
Although
Linking Words
 Craft and Drawing attracted 25
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
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B
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, making it the most popular subject, it was selected by only 4 pupils in
school
Use synonyms
 A. Turning to the remaining
subjects
Use synonyms
, Language was the second most popular subject in
school
Use synonyms
B
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, with 18
students
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 choosing it,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 5
students
Use synonyms
 selected it in the other
school
Use synonyms
.
Science
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 and Social
Science
Use synonyms
 were among the least preferred
subjects
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, with
Science
Use synonyms
 accounting for 2 and 9
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
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B
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 and A
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Social
Science
Use synonyms
 was more popular in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 than in
school
Use synonyms
 A (10 compared with 6
students
Use synonyms
).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words subjects, school, b, students, science with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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