Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Should
boys
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and
girls
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study together? Which is better
mixed
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, mixed
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or separate? Some
people
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think that it is better to educate
boys
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and
girls
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in separate
schools
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.
while
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others think
that
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is it
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it is
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better in mixed
schools
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. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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I believe that
educate
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educating
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boys
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and
girls
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in separate
schools
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is the right decision as it gives them more confidence.
Moreover
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, being in separate
schools
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means
study
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studying
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with
the
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apply
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people
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with
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of
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the same
gender
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so
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, so
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you will be more comfortable. In the following line, I am going to explain why it is better to educate
boys
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and
girls
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in separate
schools
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. First of all,
people
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believe that
islam
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Islam
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plays a big role in
this
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situation as it
against
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is against
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mixed
schools
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and prefers separating
boys
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from
girls
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.
Also
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, they think that
students
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can pay more attention to their lesson which can benefit them more. Some study shows that the
less
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fewer
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students
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the
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, the
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more
benefit
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benefits
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they get
and
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, and
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the same
gender
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the
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, the
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more attention they
are
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get
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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see that
students
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with the same
gender
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can feel more confident and comfortable
to ask
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asking
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questions or
speak
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speaking
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to each other. So no one will be shy to ask about their
gender
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problems
and
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, and
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they will be free to talk about
it
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them
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and fix
it
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them
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.
In addition
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, they say that it can reduce problems and bullying between
students
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. That can benefit the
students
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and
can
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help them
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focus more on their learning because they are less likely to be bullied by the opposite
gender
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.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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think
that
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is it
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it is
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better to educate
boys
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and
girls
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in mixed
schools
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.
First,
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people
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think it can improve teamwork between
students
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as it
help
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helps
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them to communicate more with each other and be
mire
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more
able to do things better with
with
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apply
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both
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gender
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genders
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.
Moreover
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, they say that
students
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can share ideas and learn from each other.
For
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example
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example,
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mixed
schools
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allow
students
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to learn from different opinions and ideas
as
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, as
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it can help them be more
creatively
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creative
. In conclusion, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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I believe that separate
schools
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are better for both
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gender
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genders
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because
students
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can be more confident
, comfortable
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and comfortable,
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and it is against our traditional values. So
people
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must respect their traditional values and follow them .

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overall score
Score: 5. You answer the question, but some ideas need more clear support and the links between ideas can be better.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. For example, say why separate schools make students more confident, and give one clear real-life example.
task response
Discuss the mixed-school view in more detail. You give teamwork and new ideas, but this part is shorter and less developed than the separate-school part.
task response
Be careful with broad claims. Instead of saying religion is against mixed schools, say that some people feel this because of their religious or family values.
task response
Use examples that clearly support your point. "Some study shows" is not clear. Give a simple example from a class or school instead.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea in each paragraph. Then explain it and add an example. Do not put many different ideas in one long paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences. For example: "Supporters of separate schools say that students may feel more at ease in class."
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating "people think" and "moreover" too often. Use simple links such as "This is because", "For example", "However", and "As a result".
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats your view, which is good. Make it stronger by also briefly naming the other side before you give your final choice.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. Your view is clear: you think separate schools are better.
task response
You give some reasons for each side, such as confidence, study focus, teamwork, and sharing ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as "First of all", "Also", "Moreover", and "On the other hand" to show the order of your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
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