Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television?

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I think the advantages are many an example
of few
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apply
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: learning about something they are
intrested
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interested
in, or maybe fixing problems and
,
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apply
show examples
preveinting
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preventing
them from doing other harmful
hobbys
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hobbies
in
genreal
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general
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the disadvantages can beat the pros,
for instance
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, the child can be
exeposed
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exposed
to adult films ,or he can learn
inproprrite
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inappropriate
sights .

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task response
Score: 4. Your answer is much too short for an IELTS essay. Write a full essay with an opening, two main parts, and an end.
task response
Explain each point more. For example, say what children can learn from TV and why this is good.
task response
Use clear examples. For example: nature shows can help children learn about animals, but too much TV can mean less play and less sport.
task response
Keep all ideas clear and on the topic. “Fixing problems” and “harmful hobbies” need more detail, or the reader may not understand them.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 4. Put one main idea in each paragraph. One paragraph can be about good points; the next can be about bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Start with a short opening that says you will talk about both good and bad sides. End with a short final view.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show order: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “In the end”.
coherence and cohesion
Make your sentences full and easy to follow. Your first sentence is hard to read because it has many ideas at once.
task response
You give both sides: good points and bad points of TV for children.
task response
Your ideas are on the topic, such as learning and seeing adult films.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear links: “On the other hand” and “for instance”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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