Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Medical service and education are considered the highest in terms of expenditure and the requirement for efficient operation.
While
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a proportion of individuals believe that the state must take obligation in financing for them, an opposing argument states that governments are not responsible for curing and teaching people.
This
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essay will discuss both viewpoints and present my personal opinion. On one hand, proponents of governmental support often point out that obtaining health care and pursuing education are essential rights for all citizens, despite potential financial burdens.
In addition
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, it will have extremely great returns to our society,
this
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is largely because providing health care for people helps them to avoid future diseases and illnesses that cost huge amounts of money.
Also
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, giving free educational opportunities to children will make them notably enthusiastic to contribute to the prosperity of the nation. A clear example of
this
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can be seen in China, where a large number of students in the 1990s are now leading economic development across various sectors.
On the other hand
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, not all countries can afford funding
due to
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debt accumulation.
Therefore
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, covering the financial cost of operating schools and hospitals will affect the nation
nigative
Correct your spelling
negatively
.
Moreover
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, some people are taking advantage of the unpaid medicines by taking large numbers of unwanted medicines and selling them to private pharmacies.
For instance
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, a recent study in the United States revealed that approximately 18 per cent of medicines given to patients are traded illegally. In conclusion, there is no straightforward response to the question.
However
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, I tend to hold the view that medical and teaching support is a global responsibility that all governments should be dedicated to.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer is on topic, but some ideas need more detail. For example, explain more clearly how free school helps a country grow.
task response
Your opinion is given, but it is not fully clear. Say if all care and school should be free, or if the state should pay for only basic care and school.
task response
Be careful with facts. The China and US examples sound useful, but they need a clear link to your point. A simple made-up example is not as strong as a well-explained general point.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Most paragraphs have one main point, but some sentences do not flow well. In paragraph 2, the idea about rights moves too fast to the idea about future illness costs.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words only when they show a clear relation. For example, “In addition” is not the best link before “it will have extremely great returns to our society.” Try: “This can also help society in the long term.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the end stronger. Do not say “there is no straightforward response” and then give only a short opinion. Restate both sides, then clearly say why you support one side.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. This answers all parts of the question.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: free health care and school can help people and the country, but some states may not have enough money.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, first view, second view, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful link words, such as “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Therefore”, and “For instance”.
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