IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extinction of animal life and human life. Do you agree or disagree?

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The current dimensions of harvesting trees
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a real issue.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 behaviour could end without any species on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
planet
earth
Capitalize the proper name
Earth
show examples
. It is agreed that logging of the
rain forest
Correct your spelling
rainforest
 is a serious problem and it will lead to
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of life. Analysing the surge of carbon dioxide
pollutions
Replace the word
pollution
 and the connection to the increased temperatures will prove
this
Linking Words
.

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overall score
Estimated score: 5. This is only an introduction, so it cannot get a high score as a full essay. Your main position is clear, but the ideas need more detail and support.
task response
Answer all parts of the question. Explain how logging can cause the loss of animal life and human life. For example, animals lose their homes, and people may face more heat, floods, and less clean air.
task response
Use clear and correct ideas. 'It will lead to extinction of life' is too strong and not fully clear. Say 'it may cause some animals to die out and may harm human health and safety.'
task response
Add real examples in the body paragraphs. You could write about animals that need forest homes, or about trees taking carbon dioxide from the air.
coherence and cohesion
Make your first sentence more direct. 'The current dimensions of harvesting trees' is not natural. Write: 'Cutting down rain forests is a serious global problem.'
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, one paragraph about animals, one paragraph about people and climate, then a short ending. Start each paragraph with one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as 'First', 'Also', 'As a result', and 'For this reason'. Do not put too many ideas in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Change 'carbon dioxide pollutions' to 'carbon dioxide pollution' or 'higher levels of carbon dioxide'. Change 'the connection to the increased temperatures' to 'this causes higher temperatures.'
task response
You give a clear opinion: you agree that cutting rain forests is a serious problem.
task response
You name two main ideas for the essay: more carbon dioxide and higher temperatures.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph has a clear order: topic, opinion, then two points you plan to explain.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • carbon sink
  • global warming
  • indigenous tribes
  • livelihood
  • displacement
  • cultural erosion
  • soil erosion
  • water cycle
  • humidity levels
  • rainfall patterns
  • droughts
  • ecosystem services
  • pollination
  • climate change
  • logging
  • rain forests
  • habitats
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