IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries people prefer to rent a house rathar than buying one .describe tha advantages and disadvantages of both?

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In the most recent era, with the increase in urbanization many individuals choose to rent a home , rather than spend money to buy one
,
Punctuation problem
;
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both preferences have
positives
Correct word choice
positive
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 and
negatives
Correct word choice
negative
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 aspects
,
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.
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 For that ,
this
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
 will explain both views.
Moreover
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 same advantages
such
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 as beinning close to essential daily needs and to the family and friends,
while
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 it could be expansive on way to destroy finanical in the near future. The most important aspects are renting a place can be helpful and easier to choose because it might be close to the hospital, mall , supermarket, and work, and for that
reason
Add a comma
reason,
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 it is preferable to pay rent rather than buy one.
For example
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, if you attend work daily for several hours, being near your workplace will save time and energy , so renting a house is more suitable for the same people in case they can have lower cost and more freedom to move
,
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apply
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.
Also
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 can be helpful to be in close
distance
Replace the word
proximity
 to their families and their
beloved
Replace the word
loved
 ones.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
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 the advantage of buying a house is will be your own home and possible money gain, which might be significantly economically better when selling it after years . In the long run, the more people stay in rental homes , the more they spend and lose their income , which leads to distroy the finany in the near future.
Inthe
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In the
 end, rent money does not help people own a home.
On the other hand
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 , by buing villa will be in high cost
,
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.
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Therefore
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 to consider taken loan to buy
house
Correct article usage
a house
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,
to
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apply
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keep in mind the amount of tax, and
repair
Correct article usage
the repair
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 work to be
coverd
Correct your spelling
covered
 yearly.
so
Capitalize the word
So
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 both
vies
Use the right word
views
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 may affect the person financially too.
Consequently
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, there are numerous conflicts
as a result
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; it depend about the individual's needs and the priorities in their lifestyle, if they are looking for places that cover the daily routine life needs or the prefere to be financially supported in the near future.

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task response
Estimated score: 5. Your main ideas are relevant, but some are not fully explained. For renting, explain the good side: lower first cost and the freedom to move. Explain the bad side: rent does not help you own a home. For buying, explain the good side: it is your own home and may rise in value. Explain the bad side: high cost, loans, tax, and repairs.
task response
Give one clear example for buying too. For example: a family may buy a home because they want to stay in one area for many years.
task response
Some ideas are unclear or too broad. “Being close to family and friends” is not always linked to renting. Say why renting makes this possible, such as moving to a place near them.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph. Paragraph 1 can be about renting. Paragraph 2 can be about buying. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your first paragraph is too long and has many ideas together. Break long sentences into short, clear sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Do not start many sentences with “Also”. Try “However”, “In contrast”, “As a result”, and “For this reason” when they fit.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending clearer. State that the best choice depends on money, work, family plans, and how long a person wants to live in one place.
task response
You answer both parts: the good and bad sides of renting and buying.
task response
You give a clear example about living near work to save time and energy.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “For example”, “Also”, “On the other hand”, and “Consequently”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rental property
  • home ownership
  • monthly rent
  • security deposit
  • rising rent
  • short-term flexibility
  • move house easily
  • limited savings
  • major repairs
  • landlord restrictions
  • long-term asset
  • property ladder
  • pay a deposit
  • take out a mortgage
  • monthly repayments
  • build equity
  • property value
  • maintenance costs
  • financial commitment
  • housing market
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