In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantage and disadvantage of giving children this message

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In some cultures,

children

Use synonyms

are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

This

Linking Words

message

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

both advantages and disadvantages. One advantage is that

children

Use synonyms

become more

confidence

Replace the word

confident

and work hard for

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

goals. If they believe in themselves, they will not give up

easy

Rephrase

easily

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, a student can study every day and get better marks.

This

Linking Words

message

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to become more independent and brave because they are not afraid of

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

mistakes.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

message

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some disadvantages. Not everyone can achieve everything, even if they try very hard. Some people have health problems or

not

Verb problem

do not

show examples

enough

Verb problem

have enough

show examples

money. If

children

Use synonyms

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

reach

they

Correct determiner usage

their

show examples

dreams, they may think they are

failure

Fix the agreement mistake

failures

show examples

This

Linking Words

can make them feel very sad and lose

they

Correct determiner usage

their

show examples

confidence.

Also

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

sometimes forget that luck and other

people

Check wording

people's

show examples

support are important too. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

message

Use synonyms

has both good and bad sides.

Children

Use synonyms

should work hard, but they

also

Linking Words

need to understand that success is not always only because of hard work.

mkmobileoom

Aug 7, 2026

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task response

Overall score: 6. Your ideas are on topic, but add more detail. Explain how hard work can help in real life, and give one more clear example for the bad side.

task response

Make the good side more full. For example, say that this message may help a child keep going after a bad test or a loss.

task response

Make the bad side more full. Explain that children may feel upset when they work hard but still cannot reach a goal because of money, health, or family needs.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each body part. In the first body part, talk only about the good side. In the second, talk only about the bad side.

coherence and cohesion

Add simple links inside each part. For example: “This is because...”, “As a result...”, and “For this reason...”.

coherence and cohesion

Your ending is clear, but it could say both main points again in a more direct way: hard work is important, but it is not the only part of success.

task response

You answer both parts: the good side and the bad side. Your main idea is clear.

task response

You give a good example about a student who studies every day and gets better marks.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.

coherence and cohesion

Words like “For example”, “However”, “Also”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

173 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantage and disadvantage of giving children this message

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite better education , some adults are unable to write and read. What are the disadvantages people are having? What should the governments do to avoid this?

Some people believe it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Others think it is important to keep work life completely separate from social life. This essay will discuss both views and present my opinion.

Some people think that the universities must only accept student with high mark, while others believe that universities must accept students of all ages regardless of their previous grades. Discuss both views and give your opinion.