IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows

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Dear Sir or Madam, The Purpose of my email is to express my deep concern regarding the difficulty I am facing by sharing the
room
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 student
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 another course . Given that
Sharing
Fix capitalization
sharing
show examples
 the
room
Use synonyms
 would lower
down
Rephrase
apply
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my expenses;
however
Linking Words
, living with
student
Correct article usage
a student
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
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 another course is creating a
lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
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 of disturbances. I have classes in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 morning
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 my
roomate
Check wording
roommate's
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 classes usually start in
late
Correct article usage
the late
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 evening
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 the clash of different timings is creating a huge problem for
both
Use synonyms
 of us.
As a result
Linking Words
,
We
Fix capitalization
we
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 could not sleep
and
Correct word choice
or
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 study well .If
this
Linking Words
 issue is not
addressed
Punctuation problem
addressed,
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 it could have
long term
Correct your spelling
long-term
 negative effects on our health . It would be greatly appreciated if
i can
Wrong verb form
I could
show examples
 share the
room
Use synonyms
 with my own classmate having
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Use synonyms
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
 so that the issue of turning on and off lights would not happen.
For Instance
Linking Words
,
We
Correct word order
we can both
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 can go and come at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and can fix a sleep
time
Use synonyms
 .I would
also
Linking Words
 suggest giving a 2 BHK
room
Use synonyms
 so that we
both
Use synonyms
 can live in 2 different rooms . Thank you for your
time
Use synonyms
 and attention to
this
Linking Words
 matter .Please feel free to contact me if you need
further
Linking Words
 information or wish to discuss
this
Linking Words
 in more detail. I look forward to your response . Sincerely, Amilin

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task response
Say more clearly why you need a change now. Ask for one main choice: a room with a classmate, or a room of your own. Do not ask for a two-bedroom flat, as this may not fit college rooms.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has clear parts: the problem, the reasons, and your request. Use shorter sentences and link ideas with simple words such as “because”, “so”, and “therefore”. Avoid very long spaces and keep each paragraph for one main point.
language
Check small errors: “a lot of disturbances”, “my roommate’s classes”, “I”, “we”, and “timetable”. Write “classes start” and “turning the lights on and off”.
task response
You describe the shared-room problem, explain how it affects sleep and study, and give a clear idea of the room you want.
coherence cohesion
The letter is easy to follow. Each paragraph has a main job, and the ending is polite and suitable for a college officer.
Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • shared room
  • roommate
  • accommodation officer
  • study in peace
  • daily routine
  • late at night
  • make noise
  • lack of privacy
  • concentrate on my work
  • prepare for exams
  • feel tired
  • solve the problem
  • similar study habits
  • single room
  • quiet place
  • move to another room
  • I would be grateful
  • as soon as possible
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