IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

INCREASING THE PRICE OF PETROL IS THE BEST WAY TO SOLVE THE GROWING TRAFFIC AND POLLUTION PROBLEM To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
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It is undeniable that the increasing amount of traffic congestion and the contamination of the environment are making nations concerned worldwide. To secure a trouble-free atmosphere, many people hold the view that escalating the cost of petrol could be by far the most effective way. I totally disagree with the above-mentioned view since there could possibly be other far more workable options to choose from. In the following,
this
 essay will thoroughly analyze the theories with appropriate instances.
To begin
 with, it is significant that the issues which spark huge concern among
indigenous
Capitalize word
Indigenous
show examples
 people,
such
 as traffic jams and air pollution should be approached alternatively to reach an everlasting panacea. Unlike the past, today manufacturing companies are primarily focusing on producing environmentally friendly automobiles like electric ones. By way of illustration, Toyota or some other automobile companies are considered to have dominance in manufacturing oil-free cars. Expanding the volume of production of the same type of transport may be far and away the most effective method to tackle pollution.
Additionally
, regulating the movement of private cars is likely to play an integral role in preventing automobiles from being piled up all over downtown. Case in point, in some parts of Uzbekistan the transport which is out of date is confined to moving on certain types of roads, by which both the scale of traffic and the pollution of surroundings might somewhat be mitigated.
Conversely
, there are people who commonly argue that imposing an increased charge for car petrol can possibly be able to resolve the issues.
For example
, If gas utilized for cars soars, the majority of drivers cease to move their automobiles, which
accordingly
 means that the exposure of the environment to toxic fumes released from vehicles is bound to be minimized.
However
, I am of the view that implementing
such
 a method could lead motor vehicles to being eliminated. Taking everything into account,
although
 putting a rise in petrol prices seems to be one of the effective ways of avoiding the problems they might cause, I am convinced that diverse ways should be put into practice to attain a trouble-free environment as the former one could conceivably result in vanishing transport system in the long run.
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in this criterion, consider expanding your discussion on alternative measures more comprehensively and in greater detail. Also, ensure that each point is backed up with specific and varied examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are fully explained and elaborated to improve clarity and understanding. This could involve providing more in-depth analysis and commentary on the examples used. Strengthening the connection between your points and the overall argument can also help.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This enhances readability and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Strong use of connective words and phrases helps to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly, contributing to the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, providing arguments both for and against the rise in petrol prices and addressing alternative measures.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the mention of Toyota's environmentally friendly cars and the regulations in Uzbekistan, are used effectively to support the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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