IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that the government should provide free public libraries in every town, while others think this is a waste of money because people can get access the information on the internet. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

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In recent
an era
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years
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,
online
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the internet
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 is available for every individual looking for information.
public
Capitalize the word
Public
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 free
libraries
Use synonyms
 in every city
iare
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are
 often a subject of debate, with
Some
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some
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 arguing offering them for free is a waste of public funds,
while
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 others, including myself, believe they are crucial and should be
stayed
Verb problem
available
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 for no cost to the public. In my view, free public
libraries
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 provide essential rules to support those who lack the resources to
access
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 information
otherwise
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. Citizens argue that in an era where the
internet
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 is widely accessible, having public
libraries
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 is an inefficient use of money. They claim that individuals with higher socioeconomic status can easily afford personal devices,
internet
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 connections, and books, making
libraries
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 redundant for their needs.
For instance
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, a friend of mine never visited the library because he had all the resources—
such
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 as the latest textbooks and fast
internet
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—available at home.
Moreover
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, from his perspective, public
libraries
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 seemed unnecessary.
However
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,
this
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 view fails to consider the needs of economically disadvantaged individuals. Many people, particularly students, rely on public
libraries
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 as their only source of free
access
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 to educational materials, computers, and the
Internet
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. Without these resources, their ability to excel academically would be severely limited. I personally experienced
this
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 during my university years when I had no
internet
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access
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 or computer at home. The local library provided me with the necessary tools to complete my studies, and without it, I would have struggled to graduate and improve my financial situation. In conclusion,
while
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 some believe that funding public
libraries
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 is a waste, I strongly contend that these institutions are a critical investment. They provide equal
access
Use synonyms
 to knowledge and opportunities, especially for those who cannot afford alternatives, ultimately contributing to societal progress.

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task response
Give a fuller answer for the view that libraries are a waste of money. At present, this part mainly says that rich people do not need libraries. Also explain why some people think public money should go to other things, such as schools, health care, or roads.
task response
Add one more point about what libraries offer that the internet may not. For example, they are quiet places to study, give help from staff, and offer safe computer use. This will make your own view more complete.
task response
Use a more general example as well as your own story. For example, many young people may not have a good place to study at home, so a library can give them space and help.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence clearer. “In recent an era, online is available...” is hard to understand. You could write: “Today, people can find a great deal of information online.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. In the first body paragraph, the point is that some people already have internet and books at home. Then clearly link this to their view that library money could be used elsewhere.
coherence and cohesion
Check small wording problems because they can slow the reader down. For example, write “in every town or city”, “are often the subject of debate”, and “should remain free for the public.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “resources” too often. You can also use simple words such as “books”, “computers”, “internet access”, and “study materials”.
task response
You discuss both sides and clearly give your own view. Your main idea is clear: libraries help people who do not have money for a computer, books, or the internet.
task response
Your personal example about using a library at university is strong and easy to understand. It shows why free libraries can change a person's life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, one paragraph for each view, and a closing. The words “However”, “For instance”, and “Moreover” help the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public libraries
  • physical and digital resources
  • community hubs
  • educational and cultural activities
  • tailored information
  • literacy and lifelong learning
  • costly
  • urgent social needs
  • vast amounts of information
  • readily accessible
  • digitalization
  • under-utilized
  • inefficient use of public funds
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