IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, most of the information is available on the Internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh its disadvantages?

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It is widely acknowledged that
information
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 requires great consideration when it comes to its availability and storage.
While
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people
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 find a significant amount of knowledge on the
internet
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, in the past, there were
books
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 and papers where
information
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can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 be stored.I strongly believe that the advantages of the
internet
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,
such
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 as providing more affordable and efficient access to
information
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, far outweigh its drawbacks, including the risk of spreading
misinformation
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.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both sides and my position with relevant arguments and examples. On the one hand, the
internet
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 is an accessible tool for anyone who wants to improve their knowledge about a topic, which
books
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 cannot accomplish.
People
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 can use search engines,
such
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 as Google, for free to find very specific details on the
internet
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, allowing them to shorten their research time and look into other
information
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sources
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.
For instance
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, rather than purchasing expensive
books
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 and going to a library, students can connect to the
internet
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 from home and download PDFs of
books
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 they cannot afford to buy, for free, on Google Scholar.
Therefore
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, the
internet
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 provides not only time-saving opportunities, but
also
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 budget-friendly options, which
books
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 cannot offer.
On the other hand
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, one of the main drawbacks of the
internet
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 in terms of
information
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 is that
misinformation
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 can swiftly spread through some unreliable
sources
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.
This
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 is because there is no authority to check whether each piece of
information
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 is true or fake, which allows some users to edit and share fake news and
misinformation
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. To illustrate, Wikipedia is a public
information
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 website where users can contribute to topics;
however
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, some
information
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 becomes unreliable
due to
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 the lack of regulations.
Thus
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,
misinformation
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 forces
people
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 to check other online
sources
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 to verify the reliability of the
information
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,
whereas
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books
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 are already verified before being published. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some disadvantages of the
internet
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, I firmly maintain that online
sources
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 can provide many considerable opportunities for anyone. Since most of them are free to use and help
people
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 manage their research time, these advantages outweigh the drawbacks of
misinformation
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.

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task response
Make your main view even more direct in the body. After the bad side, add one short line to show why it is still less important than the good side. For example: “However, people can check the source, so this problem is less serious than the wide access the internet gives.”
task response
Some claims are too broad. “There is no authority to check whether each piece of information is true” is not fully true because many online sources have editors or checks. Say “many websites have no strong check” instead.
task response
Develop the book side a little more. Explain one clear good point of books, such as careful checks before print, then compare it more closely with online sources.
coherence and cohesion
Keep your point at the start of each body paragraph short and clear. In the first body paragraph, start with the two key good points: free access and fast search. Then give the student example.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea in close lines. In the first body paragraph, “for free” appears more than once. You can say it once, then focus on how this helps students.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer link inside the last body paragraph. The sentence about users editing and sharing false news could be joined more smoothly: “As a result, users may edit pages or share false news, so readers must check other sources.”
task response
You give a clear view from the start: online information has more good points than bad points. You discuss both sides and return to the same view in the end.
task response
Your examples are clear and fit your main points. The student example shows how the internet can save money and time, and the Wikipedia example shows why some online facts may not be safe.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: introduction, one paragraph for the good side, one for the bad side, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear links such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For instance”, “Thus”, and “In conclusion”. These help the reader see how each idea is connected.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital Age
  • Information Overload
  • Convenience
  • Accessibility
  • Digital Divide
  • Knowledge Dissemination
  • Reliability
  • Data Privacy
  • Cybersecurity
  • Environmental Impact
  • Up-to-date Information
  • Critical Thinking Skills
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