More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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In contemporary society, the number of extinct

animals

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is increasing, and others are on the endangered list.

This

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essay aims to examine the primary causes of

this

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phenomenon and propose several measures to tackle it. One of the primary causes behind

this

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phenomenon is the requirement for

animals

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’

fur

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and skins. Because some people have come to believe that the natural

fur

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in their hats or the skin of crocodiles in their boats are priorities of a wealthy lifestyle.

Therefore

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, there are a lot of brands which produce clothes from the

fur

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of endangered

animals

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such

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as white foxes, polar bears, and so on.

In addition

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, people’s contribution to the extinction of

animals

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is considerable.

For example

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, a story about the bird dodo is prominent because of people who settled on their island and brought a lot of alien species, which absolutely destroyed the habitat of birds and were the primary reason for their extinction.

However

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, several measures can be taken to address

this

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issue. The government should propose laws that forbid not only the use of

fur

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and animal skin, but

also

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the cruelty to

animals

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. A lot of endangered

animals

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die

due to

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people’s violent behaviour. An additional sustainable measure would be providing monetary resources to help them promote.

For instance

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, Lacoste, a famous brand of clothes and its main logo is a sign of a crocodile, released a new collection of clothes, where various endangered

animals

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were in the place of the brand’s logo.

Due to

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this

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idea, the brand could help endangered

animals

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and aid in promoting

this

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vital problem. In conclusion, the increasing number of extinct

animals

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stems largely from a demand for their skins and people’s involvement. By implementing funds and several crucial laws, authorities are able to tackle

this

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issue immediately.

piriyevxezer181

Aug 11, 2026

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task response

Make the reasons more exact. The main reason is not only a need for fur and skin; it is also hunting for money and fashion. You could add loss of forests, sea and land because of farms, roads, homes, and waste.

task response

Develop each solution further. Say who will act, what they will do, and how it will help. For example, laws can stop illegal hunting, and money can help protect forests and pay park workers.

task response

Some ideas are not clear or do not fit well. “The skin of crocodiles in their boats” is hard to understand. Use a clear example, such as crocodile skin in bags, shoes, or belts.

task response

The Lacoste example shows that a company can raise public care, but it does not fully show how animals will be saved. Add direct actions, such as giving money to safe areas, animal care groups, or breeding plans.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. In the first body paragraph, move from fur to the dodo story more smoothly, or use one paragraph for hunting and one for loss of homes.

coherence and cohesion

Use cause-and-effect links more carefully. “Because” should not start a full new sentence here. You can write: “Some people see fur as a sign of wealth, so they buy it.”

coherence and cohesion

Make the ending match the body ideas. It says “funds and laws”, but the body also talks about company action and public care. Sum up all the main actions in one clear sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid unclear word use that can break the flow. For example, change “help them promote” to “help protect these animals and make more people aware of the problem.”

task response

You answer both parts of the question. You give reasons for the loss of wild animals and suggest actions by the government and companies.

task response

The dodo example is clear and helps show how people and new animals can destroy a home for wild animals.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: an opening, reasons, solutions, and a short ending.

coherence and cohesion

You use linking words such as “For example”, “In addition”, “However”, and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

These days people are living into their 90’s and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care for the elderly. Do you think it is the responsibility of the family to care for their elderly members or should the government be held responsible?

The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world scoeity over the the last two centuries. Dicuss this statement and give your opinion.

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion