IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before going to university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

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After graduating from
university
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 became adults directly
,
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;
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 they either get married and have kids or start their careers. So they won't have time to explore themselves
,
Punctuation problem
. One
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one
Use synonyms
 of the best ways to find yourself is to take
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 gap before
university
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 to find out who you are. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a lot of advantages and disadvantages
by
Change preposition
to
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 taking
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 gap
,
Punctuation problem
;
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one
Use synonyms
 of the main pros is knowing who you are, what you like and what you want to do in life.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 spend some time
in
Change preposition
on
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 hobbies, and invest in your health and wellbeing. There is a recent study from a researcher at
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
the University
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 of Melbourne about "investing quality time in your life"
it
Capitalize the proper name
It
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 talks about how
this
Linking Words
 period will lead you towards your goals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will
additionally
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 make you choose your college
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
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 clearly, because you
knew
Wrong verb form
know
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 yourself perfectly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some cons
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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 reflect
you
Change preposition
on you
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 if you didn't get to
university
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 immediately
,
Punctuation problem
. To
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to begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
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 you will not be graduating with your friends,
you
Correct word choice
and you
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 will be
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 younger.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you will have to get a job to
fun
Use the right word
fund
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 yourself. For me, I encourage people to take the
year
Use synonyms
 off because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 it's advantageous more than its disadvantages. It will reflect on your maturity and
to
Verb problem
help you
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 set your goals clearly.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there is
not
Rephrase
no
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 right and wrong about
this
Linking Words
 situation, it is all about you and your life journey that you want to make.

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task response
Give a clearer opening. The first paragraph talks about life after university, but the topic is about time before university. Start by saying that some students take a year off before they begin university.
task response
Develop each main point more. For example, explain what a student may do in a year off: work, travel, learn a skill, or help in the local area. Then say how this can help with a future course or job.
task response
Make the bad points more complete. You say students may not finish with their friends and may need a job, but explain why these things can be hard. For example, work may leave less time for travel or study.
task response
Be careful with the study from Melbourne. It is not clear who did it or what it found. It is often better to give a simple real-life example than to use a study with no clear details.
task response
Your view is clear, but make it more balanced. Say that a year off is a good idea when the student has a plan and uses the time well. Without a plan, the year may be wasted.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea in each body paragraph. In the good-points paragraph, talk first about knowing yourself, then give one example, and then explain the result.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “One main benefit is...”, “This is because...”, “For example...”, and “As a result...”. These links will make your points easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the ideas are joined too closely. For example, change “There is a lot of advantages and disadvantages by taking this year gap” to “Taking a gap year has both advantages and disadvantages.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending match your view more closely. You say you encourage people to take a year off, but then say there is no right or wrong. You can say that it is a good choice for students who have clear goals and enough money.
task response
You answer all parts of the question. You write about good points, bad points, and your own view.
task response
Your main idea is clear: a year off can help young people know themselves and make plans for the future.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear parts for the good side, the bad side, your view, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the other hand”, “Moreover”, and “To sum up” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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