Topic: In many countries, more and more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
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modern era, many individuals prefer to live independently
and
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, and
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this
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trend
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has become the subject of considerable debate. Some individuals have a notion that
this
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trend
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is more advantageous for their personal growth,
while
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others argue that there are numerous challenges associated
to
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with
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this
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trend
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. Considering both scenarios in mind, I strongly believe that it gives more opportunities to learn and grow rather than spending lives in
closed
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a closed
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setup
establish
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established
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by previous generations.
To begin
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with, there are various benefits if people choose to live solely. Fire and foremost,
this
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gives them exposure to the world
and
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, and
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that helps in broadening their horizons. To justify
this
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, in foreign countries when
an
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apply
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international students come to pursue their studies, they first experience a culture shock
,
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;
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however
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, with
time
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time,
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they
get
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apply
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adapt to the new lifestyle.
As a result
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, they become analytical in their thinking
and
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, and
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that eventually
polish
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polishes
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their decision-making skills.
Secondly
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, deciding to live
lonely
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alone
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and surviving through the phase of that decision are two different things.
This
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process of survival and handling everything alone
make
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makes
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them not only
financial
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financially
independent but
also
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develop
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develops
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their personalities into
a
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apply
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mature
being
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beings
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.
Conversely
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,
this
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decision may
leads
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lead
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some individuals to
a
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apply
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unprecedented hardships that they have never faced before in their lives. Lacking
of
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apply
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proper guidance and
plan
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a plan
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can force them to choose
wrog
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wrong
ways to
fulfill
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fulfil
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their needs.
For instance
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, studies show that the youngsters who live without their family are more into drugs and illegal activities as compared to those who are under the supervision of either their parents or any authorities.
Therefore
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, proper assistance is needed to live independently.
To conclude
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,
although
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this
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trend
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has some detrimental impacts, yet they can not overpass the favourable impacts it has on
the
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apply
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society.

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task response
Make your main view more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that the good points outweigh the bad points, and name the two main reasons you will use.
task response
Develop each main point with a fuller example. For example, explain how paying bills, making food, and planning time can help a person become more able and more sure of themselves.
task response
Be careful with broad claims about young people, drugs, and crime. Your example needs more support, or you can use a more careful idea such as loneliness, stress, or money problems.
task response
The last paragraph should do more than repeat your view. Briefly say why the good points are stronger than the bad points, such as because people can get help while still learning to live on their own.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas in the first body paragraph are joined too quickly. Split long parts into short, clear steps: living alone gives new tasks; these tasks build skills; these skills help people grow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. “First and foremost” is better than “Fire and foremost”, and “In contrast” or “However” can make the move to the bad side smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same key words. Use “live alone” or “live independently” instead of “live solely” and “live lonely”, as these words can change the meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending clearer. “They” in the last sentence is not fully clear. Name the idea again: the bad effects of living alone.
task response
You give a clear view: living alone has more good points than bad points. You also discuss both sides of the question.
task response
Your main good points are clear: people can learn, grow, and become more able to make choices.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Words such as “To begin with”, “Conversely”, and “To conclude” help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main side of the topic, so the order is easy to understand.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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