Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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modern era, the issue of investing the community's funding has become one of the most acute problem to the general public.
While
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some individuals argue that it's better for policy-makers to invest more in space exploration, others,
on the other hand
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, considerably support the policy of spending on saving the Earth.
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essay aims to elucidate these differing perspectives before offering my own viewpoint. Examining the former opinion, spending on other planets significantly provide multifaced merits.
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is
due to
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the fact that it is the leverage for breakthroughs in fields
such
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as medicine, energy, or material science. Meanwhile, our world has limited non-renewable energy.
As a result
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, discovering
such
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energies on Mars, Venus , or even the Moon reduces the pressure on restricting the use of some typical resources.
Moreover
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, space discovery
also
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serves as a means of planetary defence against other potential threats from space objects.
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benefit is able to secure our species' future and prevent terrestrial challenges. Considering the other argument, funding for preserving our world substantially offers significant advantages to both environmental and social benefits. It is undeniable that Earth conservation safeguarding well-being of our globe and our offspring. By protecting the ecosystem, preserving biodiversity or mitigating the effects of climate change, humans can maintain the health of the globe.
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investment,
on the other hand
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, is more sustainable and obvious than depending on other planets' exploration, which is much more unclear and difficult.
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, global saving money is
also
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capable of ensuring citizens' access to clean air and water,
while
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still addressing ecological issues.
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positive impact of funding secures a sustainable and promising future. In conclusion, both arguments have their own pros and cons.
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, from my point of view, governments ought to strike a balance between spending public money on searching for other planets and protecting the Earth. They should allocate the budget appropriately for each field
while
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still ensuring a fulfilling life for residents all over the world.

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task response
Make your view more direct and explain it more. You say money should be shared, but you do not say which area should get more money first. State this clearly and give one strong reason.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. For example, explain how space work has led to better weather reports, maps, or new medical tools. For Earth spending, give an example such as clean water systems or flood control.
task response
Some ideas need closer links to the question about finding life. Looking for energy on Mars or the Moon is not the same as looking for life on other planets. Keep each point focused on the exact topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph begin with one clear main idea. Then add two or three sentences that explain and support only that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid links that do not fit the meaning. For example, “on the other hand” is used inside the Earth paragraph, but there is no new opposite idea there. Use it only when you change to a different side.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the word order and word choice are not clear. For example, “global saving money” could be changed to “spending money to protect the Earth.” Shorter, clearer sentences will make your points easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats the idea of balance, which is good. Make it stronger by saying why this plan is best, such as meeting today’s needs while also preparing for the future.
task response
You discuss both sides and clearly give your own view at the end. Your main ideas stay close to the question.
task response
You give useful reasons for space work, such as new science and safety from objects in space. You also give clear reasons for Earth care, such as clean air, water, and climate change.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: an opening, one paragraph for each side, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover”, “Furthermore”, and “As a result” help the reader follow your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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