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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a booksellere between 1972 and 2012

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The pie chart illustrates the shares of
bookseller
Replace the word
book
sales
Use synonyms
 in five different book
categories
Use synonyms
 from 1972 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Sales
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 of adult and children’s
fiction
Use synonyms
 genres increased over the period, making them the most popular
categories
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Travel, biography, and the other
categories
Use synonyms
 decreased. As can be seen
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in 1972. The
sales
Use synonyms
 of Adult
fiction
Use synonyms
, children’s
fiction
Use synonyms
, and biography books shared the same figure at 20%. After that, in 1992 and 2012, adult and children’s
fiction
Use synonyms
 books recorded an increase, at 25% and 22% in 1992 and 45% and 25% in 2012, respectively. Making those
categories
Use synonyms
 the first and second most popular
categories
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the biography and miscellaneous books
sales
Use synonyms
 fell over the
last
Linking Words
 decade, from 20% to 8% and 25% to 12%, respectively,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Meanwhile, Travel
sales
Use synonyms
 recorded an increase in 1992 from 15% to 18% before dropping to 10% in 2012.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, categories, fiction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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